Missing our Best Friends!

If you have a great friend in your life, you know that there isn't much that will change how you feel about that person. Whether you are close or far away, whether you talk often or every once in a while, or even if you have a disagreement. God has blessed us with many wonderful friends who are in our hearts everyday. Even though we don't talk to these friends as often anymore, they are still a tremendous blessings to us. Over the past 4 years or so, one relationship has blossomed more than almost any other...I never anticipated this relationship to grow so much because we really struggled to get along for a good portion of our teenage years. I'm talking about my relationship with my sister Jessi.    As I said before, we did NOT get along. We are very close in age (16 months apart), therefore we were just one grade apart in school. You name it, we fought about it...boys, clothes, food, space, etc. We are the same as we are different, so we always got on each others nerves. When I got married, I didn't have much hope that our relationship would grow into much more than just being related by blood, especially after we moved 8 hours away for a new job. It didn't help things when Jessi married her husband, Jack, who I was not too sure of at the time...I didn't really know him at all. If you know me, you know that I said what was on my mind when I found out they were getting married...that did not go over well! :)

Jessi and Jack's rehearsal dinner

But God has a sense of humor and a way of healing broken relationships. A few years after we moved south, we found out that, even though Jessi and Jack had applied for jobs all up and down the east coast, they both landed jobs in the exact same city where Cole and I were working! What?!? I was excited, but nervous too. We were definitely closer than we had been in previous years, but we still weren't what I would call the best of friends. I just wasn't sure what to expect of our relationship when they moved there.

Well, fast forward several years and I can honestly say that Jessi and Jack have become our best friends. We were with them all the time back home. We were together almost every weekend and oftentimes squeezed in weeknight runs to see each other...usually to Dairy Queen (it was almost exactly in the middle between our houses). Jessi and I did everything together...going to the gym, going to church, shopping, cooking/eating, playing with the boys, etc. There is a huge hole without her here! 

Just after Cameron was born

Football season

Dairy Queen!

We can count of Jessi and Jack for anything and everything. They have seen us through disappointments, struggles, joys, excitement, a miscarriage, the births of our babies, and everything else in between. They are basically second parents to our boys and, although Harrison doesn't know them as well, the boys absolutely love them!

At the hospital when Harrison was born

Color Run

Of course we FaceTime pretty much every weekend now that we're in Gent, but it's not the same. I miss sitting outside grilling, laughing, and playing with the boys. I already miss football season and laying around all day watching games and eating and eating and eating. I miss celebrating the boys' milestones and birthdays with ice cream cake. I miss summer nights making smores and playing games late at night. We trust them, we love them. and we miss them tremendously!!! There is nothing like being near the people you care about the most. Did I mention that I miss them?!

Thankfully, Jessi and Jack are coming to see us in a little over a month and will be here for a couple weeks. I CANNOT WAIT!!!! Even though we are far away and don't get to see or talk to them as often, they are still our best friends. Although none of us know what God has in store for our lives as we live apart, I am so thankful for the restoration and healing that has occurred in our relationship and the tremendous blessing that has come from that. But today, I am really missing our best friends...

This is Different...

I'm sure posts like this will continue to pop up as we learn more about being here, but here are a few things that have stuck out to me as being pretty different from America. And when I say different, I don't necessarily mean bad, just different! I already posted a few things, but here are a some new things to add to this list of adjustments we have had to make!

Grocery shopping (or really any shopping):

I already posted a little bit about my struggles with grocery shopping, but as I think back over the past few months, there are some more things that stick out to me. When I first started going shopping by myself with the boys, it was very intimidating. I still struggle sometimes, but one of the biggest issues for me was that I couldn't then and still struggle with reading things. Take laundry detergent for example. I remember standing in the aisle looking at all the options. In my head I knew they were all laundry detergent and, for the most part, laundry detergent is laundry detergent am I right?! There were even brands I recognized, but I still had a crazy inner struggle with picking one! It would go something like this..."Ok, I recognize this brand...but I've never used it before...but there isn't anything else I recognize, so it's better than a total unknown...but it might be different in Belgium...maybe I should compare these two...you are a crazy person, just pick it up and move on." What is my problem?!? And I did that with almost EVERYTHING! I now have a translate app on my phone so I can find out what something is if I really need to know. It's not that efficient, but I can calm the crazies a little bit if I need to! :) The other difficult thing about grocery shopping is that measurements are different in Europe. In Europe they use the metric system, so things are measured in liters, kilograms, grams, etc. Of course, all my recipes have measurements in pounds, ounces, etc, so I am constantly converting things. There's no such thing as going to the store for a 15 oz can of something here. So, of course, I have an app to convert everything too...this is the 21st century! :) I hope by the end of our 3-5 years here, I will know the conversions without having to look them up every single time!  

Laundry:

This is an interesting one for me. We have a washer and dryer in our loft, which in and of itself is a very nice thing. There are many who don't have a dryer or neither of them at all! For me, laundry is almost a daily thing...or it should be! :) However, one load of laundry, from start to finish, takes at least 3 hours, if not longer! The fastest wash cycle I have takes 40 minutes and that's just a quick wash...not bad, but also not very thorough. A normal wash takes an hour and a half! Drying takes hours! I have never gotten a load completely dry in less than two hours. Two and a half hours is the least, but that's a small load! So this is VERY different from what I'm used to at home! 

Road Etiquette:

This is a big one and has been a huge adjustment...mostly because if you mess this one up, there could be very bad consequences! I think I mentioned before that bikes and pedestrians have the right of way when crossing the street. People and bikes come out of no where, so you always have to be on the lookout. It's stressful when driving, biking, and walking. You just always have to be alert of what and who is around you! While it is a little nerve-racking to just go across the street without waiting to be absolutely certain that cars are going to stop, you just have to go! If you hesitate, the locals get very annoyed with you! Now that I know that you are supposed to just cross the street without waiting for cars to stop, I get annoyed with people who hesitate...one step closer to becoming a local! :) I still haven't determined who has the right of way between a pedestrian and a bike, but I have seen a couple of people get run over by bikes! Ouch! A friend of mine who is also doing an expat assignment with her husband, told me that she always worries about her kids being run over by some form of transportation and I now understand why!  We are getting better with the rules, but it is still stressful to drive when everyone is out!

Clothing:

I'm not even sure where to start with this one. People dress very different here. Back home, unless it was a special occasion, I usually dressed pretty casual...especially if I was taking the boys somewhere to play. I will never forget the first time I took the boys to the park by myself. I was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and a sweater with my hair was in a pony tail. There were two other mothers at the park with their children. Each of them, and their children, were dressed to the nines! The moms had on skinny jeans and boots, and their hair was all done. The kids also had on nice pants and shoes. I couldn't believe it! I had already noticed that people dress very nice here, but I guess I was shocked to see that almost everyone, in almost every circumstance dresses up. Biking, playing, shopping, you name it, they look nice! There is no such thing as a cute mom-on-the-go here (as we know it in America). I have to admit that I have gone shopping or to the park in my workout clothes or sweats and have been very happy doing so. I would get crazy looks here if I did that!! It has taken me some time to stop worrying about this very inane issue and just be me! It's not realistic for me to get a completely new wardrobe and it doesn't seem comfortable to me to be dressed so nice all the time, so I have decided that I am just going to be me, and that's good enough! However, I still get looks when I go out and I am still shocked almost daily by some of the outfits I see.      

Breakfast:

We were invited over to our neighbors loft a couple weeks ago for breakfast to get to know them better. They told us not to bring anything and to just come and enjoy ourselves. We had no idea what to expect because this was our first time eating with some locals! Of course when we think of breakfast, we think of eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast, pancakes, cereal, etc. When we walked in the loft, we saw fresh breads, bagels, and pastries with butter, cream cheese, jelly, Nutella, etc., cheeses, tomatoes and cucumbers with balsamic vinegar, ham and salami, coffee, tea, and juice! It was very different than what we're used to, but it was delicious! As a side note, we have awesome neighbors and are thankful to have had the chance to get to know them.

Restaurants/Eating Out:

First of all, almost every sit down restaurant worth visiting in Gent (and other places) requires a reservation on most nights....usually several days before you want to visit. There have been several occasions where we have tried to go out to eat last minute and have been turned away from every place because we didn't have a reservation. We couldn't even wait for a table because literally every table was booked for the entire night! I'm not used to that, so we have missed out on some good meals, but I'm sure we'll get better at remembering this detail. The other thing about eating out here that's different is that meals take hours. It's not like you go in, order, eat, and pay within an hour. There's no such thing. You arrive, you have appetizers and drinks (or try to read the menus as we do), you order, eat and eat and eat, then you wait for a while and decide whether or not you have room for dessert. You then decide it's foolish not to order dessert and order what you want. During dessert and after, you are supposed to sit and drink some more, then sit and talk for a while. We have never had the ticket brought to us without asking for it so we could pay and leave. Eating out is definitely an event and, unless you really plan for it, it can be stressful...especially with kids along. It's very difficult, at least for me, to keep my kids quiet and sitting for two or three hours. Although I have yet to have a bad meal here, I usually leave a restaurant exhausted from trying to entertain the crazies so they don't disturb all the other patrons. Side note, they don't believe in ice here, so all drinks are served at room temperature, or at best, chilled. Also, water is not free, so meals can get very expensive! All that to say, eating out is a delicious event!

As I said before, these things aren't all necessarily bad, they have just taken some getting used to! It makes life interesting to introduced to new things, so we are trying to embrace them as they come and do with them what we can!

Happy Birthday Harrison!

Our sweet Harrison! What can I say about Harrison?! Let me start at the beginning...

Harrison was an unexpected blessing for us! Unexpected in that we were not trying to have a baby when I got pregnant! Cameron was 13 months old, I had just stopped nursing him and had a little more flexibility in my life, and we were just getting plugged in at church. We were, and still are, completely in love with Cameron and life was good! I will never forget that day when the morning sickness hit...I had terrible morning sickness with Cameron for almost 16 weeks, so I knew what it was!! I told Cole that I thought I was pregnant and should take a test. We were both a little shocked and tried to deny it, but went to get a pregnancy test anyways. Long story short, I ended up taking seven or eight pregnancy tests over the course of two weeks before I got a positive test. I'm not sure why it took so long to say that I was pregnant, but I just knew I was...the symptoms were too clear! The day I got the positive pregnancy test was the same day that Cole and I were supposed to go away for the weekend to spend a couple days together without Cameron. I had been nervous for weeks to leave Cameron, but I was even more of an emotional wreck now that I also knew I was pregnant! We had a wonderful time together and celebrated the many blessings that we had been given, including this new miracle! Cameron also had an amazing time with my sister and brother-in-law, Jessi and Jack. I was excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. I was scared because I had had a miscarriage before we had Cameron and was devastated. I was nervous because this was not at all planned and, although we wanted more children, we were not planning to have them quite so close together. But despite all this, we were both excited. We decided to tell Jessi and Jack our news right away, but waited to tell others until I was a little further along. We also made the decision that we would not find out if we were having a boy or a girl this time around. 

I had a difficult first trimester with morning sickness and a rowdy toddler to care for, but I was not alone and had so much help from friends and family. The remainder of my pregnancy was relatively easy, but I had a crazy busy baby inside of me. He was constantly moving and kicking me. I didn't think it was possible to have a more active baby in my belly than Cameron was, but Harrison did it. Once I started to feel Harrison move, I had a feeling that I was having another boy. I don't think Cole felt too strongly one way or the other. 

I started having contractions on a hot morning in May...May 3rd to be exact. Cameron and I decided we would go to the park and play. We had such a nice day and I have wonderful memories of our last time playing together just the two of us. We packed a picnic and also bought some ice cream! Although it was nice, it was also difficult because I was having contractions, but they were pretty sporadic. I knew I was heading towards having the baby. May 4th, the contractions started to become more regular. By the afternoon, I was having contractions every 8-10 minutes apart....painful, but not painful or close enough to head to the hospital. Instead, I had my sister, Jessi, come over to help me out. Funny story about this day. We had decided to go outside and play for a while with Cameron. We set up chairs and let Cameron run around. At some point, he ran inside to get something to drink. In the process, he somehow locked himself in the house!!!!! I was FREAKING OUT! I was clearly in labor and my child was locked in the house!! After several minutes of trying to tell him how to unlock the door, I remembered that he knew how to use the garage door opener. I told him to go in the garage and into the car to open the garage door. Luckily it worked because, by this time, the contractions were getting worse and closer together! Once I had Cameron safely in my arms, we decided that I needed to get a little something to eat and then rest because the baby was coming! Cole went to get dinner for us and, by the time he got back, my contractions were strong enough that I had to stop whatever I was doing to get through them! Once we put Cameron to bed that night, I knew we would be going to the hospital before the morning. Cole and I laid in bed and he rubbed my back and helped me though the contractions that were coming every 5 minutes or so! Around 9:30, my water broke! I jumped out of bed and told Cole that we needed to head to the hospital! We called Jessi and she came back to stay with Cameron for the night. I should insert here that I was induced with Cameron and ended up having an emergency c-section, so this was all new and exciting for me! Anyways, after 12 hours or so at the hospital, it was time to push. Our sweet Harrison was born at 10:58 am, perfect as could be!

We were so excited to have another little boy! Life with Harrison has been interesting, exciting, frustrating, and nerve-racking all at the same time. He could not be more different from Cameron which made the adjustment to life with two little ones a bit difficult. Cameron was very mellow and go with the flow, but very hyper and in the middle of everything. He did everything early...crawl, walk, talk, etc. He is still hard to keep up with! :) Harrison, on the other hand, is very calm and observant. He loves to sit and watch things from the outside. He can be a bit deceptive if you're not with him for long. He seems so sweet and smily (which he is for the most part), but he can also flip out about things at the drop of a hat! He knows what he wants and how he likes things and he will let you know about it! He's very particular and feisty! We have had more time to enjoy each stage with Harrison...from crawling, to walking, etc. He has taken things at a slower pace and we have been able to really enjoy his little developments. I should also add that Cameron has loved Harrison from the very beginning. We were worried about Cameron and how he would feel with a new little one, but he has never acted jealous or annoyed with having Harrison around. We are so thankful for that!

best buddies

I could go on for days talking about my children! I just wanted to end by saying that these two boys have been one of the greatest blessings and challenges that he have ever had. God's timing is perfect and, even though we weren't planning for Harrison, he has been the perfect addition to our family.

Now that he is getting older, the boys laugh and play together. It fills my heart with joy to see them enjoy each other so much! We are so thankful for a year with Harrison and can't wait to celebrate many more! Happy birthday sweet Harrison!!

Loneliness

I wrote this post a couple weeks ago but have been hesitant to post it. One, because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or whining...we are so incredibly blessed to be in the situation we are in, to be healthy, and to have our wonderful boys, each other, new community here, and a strong support system back home. We can't deny that God has richly blessed our lives in so many ways. Secondly, it's hard for me to admit when I fall short or when I or we as a family are struggling with things. We all want to present a nice, picturesque little family and life, right? So it's hard to admit when things just aren't that way! However, I think this post is a testament to God's tremendous grace in our lives, so I decided to share it even though it might make me feel uncomfortable or vulnerable! So here it is...

For Cole, life in Gent is not too different from home. Of course he has a new role at work and therefore, new/more responsibility, but his day to day life is not very different. He still gets up and goes to work everyday. He told me yesterday that he is surprised by how fast Gent feels like home for him. I am so happy to hear that, and for the most part, I feel the same way too. I think the boys have adjusted better than both of us, so we don't really worry too much about them! Personally, I was preparing for the worst because we had been told by several people that it would take 7-10 months to get adjusted and make this feel like home. Being me, I decided that, if it took others 7-10 months, it would definitely take me at least a year! Fortunately, like I said before, for the most part I feel very at home here. It helps that Gent is a beautiful place to live and that there is plenty to do. It also helps that most people speak at least some English and are generally pretty friendly. However, there are times when loneliness creeps in and I really miss my life in America. Just the other day was an example...Harrison's 1st birthday. We had a nice little party for him with some friends from church. We had a great time and I am thankful for the friends that we have met, but it just wasn't the same. There was a nagging feeling and a bit of sadness that our friends and family back home, as well our our boys' second parents (you know who you are) couldn't be here to celebrate with us. Then there are other times when I just want to go get some Taco Bell or Dairy Queen at 10:00 p.m. (no equivalent here...that's probably a good thing!!). Or other times, when it would be nice to go on a date and spend time with Cole, without the two crazies whom we love very much! :) Or when I see pictures of things going on back home that we are missing...weddings, get togethers, church events, new babies, etc. While I am happy these things are going on, it's sometimes hard to live in the moment and not wish I was there too!

There are things that are more difficult for me here. They affect me more because my day to day life is VERY different. Of course I am still home with the boys all day like back home, but I don't have all my wonderful mom friends to hang out with and have play dates, or the library to do story time, etc. I realize I'm whining a little bit here (I have no reason to complain), but that's how I'm feeling today. It's times like those that I mentioned above that I get a little discouraged and wish that we were back home. Things were just easier. I knew how to do things and get things accomplished. I had a strong support system. I just miss home sometimes!

But there is always a plus side, right?! There really are a lot of good things about being here, but one has really stood out to me over the past week or two. Because we are here by ourselves as a family, we have spent a lot of time together without distraction! This is a good thing! But in the process of spending a lot of time together, God has really pointed out ways in which we have failed each other, both in our marriage and in our parenting. The loneliness has forced us to see the ways that we have been falling short in serving one another and growing together. There was so much going on back home. We were constantly on the go with friends, family, kids, church, shepherding group, worship team, work, etc. that we didn't realize what was going on with our family. While those things we were doing were good things, our priorities started to shift a little bit and affect our family life. Once we arrived here and didn't have all the distractions or demands of our time, we realized that things were a little off.  Maybe we saw it before to a certain extent, but we didn't make it a priority to fix those things...to slow down a little and focus on what is truly important. We desperately want to have a strong marriage and family and we are so grateful for God's grace in our lives to show us where we fall short, and that same grace that allows us to have grace with each other. We are also thankful that, through the difficult times, God has been working to draw us closer to Him and to each other. We are fallen people and naturally find faults with each other and our children. However, God is so faithful in showing us the things that we need to work on, giving us the strength to change, and the ability to forgive each other when we mess up.

Loneliness is hard and there are days when I really don't want to deal with it. But I can't deny the fact that God is working, even through these difficult times. So once again, I praise God for what he is doing in our lives and teaching us!

Politie

Recently, I have started wondering more about the police, or politie as they are called here, and what their role is in the city. You see them everywhere...on foot, bikes, motorcycles, cars, and vans. They seem friendly enough! Other than giving parking tickets, I haven't really seen them do much other than be a presence. I'm not trying to say they don't do anything, I just haven't really witnessed it. Obviously they keep people in line because Gent is a very safe place! In the past two weeks, I have had two little encounters with the politie while I was driving. The first time, I was driving in a bus only lane. The officer behind me passed me and pointed that out to me. He also waved for me to come out of that lane and into the proper lane, then drove off. I thought that was nice of him! The second time happened just yesterday. I was driving home from Ikea and got a little turned around. When I realized I was going the wrong way I, as I would back home, just quickly turned onto a side street, did a u-turn, and pulled up to the street to go back the other way. I knew this probably wasn't allowed because there wasn't a turn lane for me, but I decided to do it anyways because I didn't want to go any further in the wrong direction than I had to. I was also heading into a crazy construction zone and didn't know when I would have another chance to turn around. As I turned onto the side street, I pulled right in front of an officer coming the other way!!! I was sure this would be my first tongue lashing since being in Belgium. As I was pulling up to the stop sign to turn back onto the main road, the officer slowly rode by and motioned to me that I was not allowed to do what I just did! I threw my hands up and mouthed "sorry" a bunch of times. Rather than coming to chastise to me, he motioned that it was ok and continued to ride on! Again, I thought that was very nice!

So, while I'm still not sure if they are super strict, or what exactly you will get in trouble for, I am thankful that they have been gracious to me as I continue to learn the ropes!

The Happenings This Past Week

This past week has been a busy one for us. Although we have had busy weeks since we've been here, this one was different. It was different because it was filled with events and get togethers with friends. Instead of being busy with running errands related to moving, registering with the city, etc, we were busy doing things we love - playing music, getting to know people, learning, and spending time with friends and family! I thought I'd give you a rundown of the week.

Last Sunday we celebrated our sweet Harrison's 1st birthday! What an unexpected blessing he has been for us! :) I think I'll write a post about Harrison another time, but here are a couple pictures from his party.

Monday, as I wrote in a previous post, we had out first Dutch lessons! 

Tuesday, we had the opportunity to take a meal to one of the families in our church who just had a baby. Pieter, Mariale, Pieter Alejandro, and now baby Santiago Adriaan are such a sweet family and we have really enjoyed getting to know them! Pieter is from Holland and Mariale is from Venezuela, so it's very interesting for us learn about their families, lives, and how they even met each other! We were so happy to take them the meal, but we learned once we arrived at their house that taking a meal to a family who has just had a baby is not customary in Belgium or Venezuela. Mariale told me that no one had ever taken her a meal before and that, normally, she would cook a meal and give us food when we came to see her. She did give us a customary treat called Muisjes. It's basically an open faced sandwich with colored sprinkles on top...blue for the boys and pink for the girls. It was tasty!

Muisjes

Mariale also told me that having a baby in Venezuela was very different than her experience in Gent. She told me that, when someone has a baby in Venezuela, everyone comes to the hospital...and I mean everyone! And it sounded to me like the family having the baby was responsible for cooking for and entertaining everyone, all while recovering and adjusting to life with a new baby! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. When I had my two babies, people brought us meals for weeks and boy was I thankful! Mariale told me that, yes, it was a little tiring to have all that responsibility, but that she loved it and missed being away from her friends and family for this birth.  It's very interesting to learn about different cultures and their customs!

Wednesday, we had the opportunity to go to worship team practice at church together! We were able to find one of the college students from church to watch the boys for us so we could go to practice together! It's nice to start getting involved with the church here and I definitely enjoyed the opportunity to have some adult interaction and conversation! Plus, we always love playing music!

Thursday, as I wrote in a previous post, was a nice family day for us because it was a public holiday here. We had a great time swimming and spending time together!

Friday was Cole's 30th birthday! He decided to stay home in the morning to have breakfast with us and then run a few errands before heading to work. After breakfast, the boys and I went to the grocery store and then to our favorite bakery for baked goods, Julie's House, to get a birthday cupcake (or cake cup as Cameron calls it) for Cole. Of course we got some goodies for us to! Anyways, we then walked over to Cole's work to take him his cupcake. As soon as we walked in the door back at the loft, the phone rang to tell me that there was a package for us down at the door. I was soooooo excited!!! I loved getting mail back home, and I love it even more now because it's not quite as frequent! We have gotten several packages from my sister and brother-in law (Jessi and Jack) and it's the best feeling!! So we ran downstairs and grabbed the package. I saw on the box that it was from some of our amazing friends, Nate and Rachel. When we opened the box, I was so touched to see that, even though Rachel just had a baby, they remembered our boys' birthdays and sent them presents! The boys were so excited and loved the gifts! What great, great friends we have back home!

When Cole got home that evening, we went to dinner to celebrate his birthday...just Cole and me!!! I can't remember the last time we went on a date?! Our friend, fellow American expat. and co-worker, Jamie, watched the boys for us! We went to a restaurant called Kaai 14.

It was an interesting experience. First of all, people don't eat dinner here until later, maybe starting at 7:00. So when we arrived at 6:20, we were the only ones there! It made us a little nervous that maybe this place was not very good, but by the time we left, it was packed. We sat downstairs in a lounge and ate snacks while we waited for our food to be prepared.

Once it was ready, we were taken to our seats. We had a beautiful view of the canal from out seats!

We ordered asparagus, done the flemish way, for an appetizer, and then steak with a blue cheese sauce and a béarnaise sauce, salad and of course, fries.

It's a little pink for my liking, so I just ate around the edges!

I say of course, because fries are served with almost everything from sandwiches in a bakery, to steak dinners in a nice restaurant. As a side note, fries are served with mayonnaise, not ketchup here. Anyways, the food was delicious and it seemed to be non-stop. Every time we finished the steak and fries on our plate, our waitress would appear with fresh steak and fries to put back on our plate! After a while, I had to turn away the food...I was stuffed and I wanted dessert! Cole ordered Dame Blanche (vanilla ice cream with hot chocolate sauce), and I ordered a hot chocolate cake with ice cream. It was delicious! We had a nice time and enjoyed our time together!

Saturday, we finally took our bikes to a store to be checked out and hopefully fixed. They were damaged in the move and we haven't really been able to use them since we arrived. It would make our lives much easier to have bikes, so hopefully they will be ready to go soon! Saturday night, we went to an Indonesian festival near our house. One of our friends from church, Aimi, is from Indonesia and invited us to come experience his culture.

Friends from church...Inge, Aimi, and Willem

They had food, music, dancing, art, etc. Aimi tried to get us to try cow intestines and fish and eggs...I was not about to eat that stuff, but Cole tried it and was not bothered by it. I loved the spring rolls with sauce! Cameron ate a lot of the food and liked it. He also loved the music and dancing.

On Sunday, we had a relaxing day here at home. The boys walked to the flower market down the street to get some pretty flowers for Mother's Day. 

So blessed!!

We were both scheduled to play on the worship team at church which is a bit tricky with the boys right now. We have to get to church at 3:00 to practice, the service starts at 5:00, and then with the service, clean up, and fellowship, we don't usually leave until 7:00 or 7:15. It's a looonnnggg afternoon/evening for them. Thankfully, Cameron usually sits with Cole and watches him practice. We normally put Harrison in a pack and play to play while we practice. It has worked in the past, but yesterday, he had a dirty diaper that covered his pants, shirts, and socks. I happened to throw an extra pair of pants in the diaper bag before we left, but nothing else. Thankfully, our friends Pieter and Mariale live just around the corner from the church and were able to bring and shirt and socks for Harrison so he wouldn't be too cold! We made it through the service which, at the moment, is a feat! The first time Cole and I tried to play on the same day, I ended up having to leave the stage after the first two songs to calm Cameron down. In his defense, we did not really have a conversation about what would be happening when the service started and he FREAKED OUT! The church building where we meet is small, and if the children are at all loud, they can be heard throughout the whole building! Needless to say, Cameron was screaming at the top of his lungs, so I had to leave to calm him down. I managed to get him calmed down so I could go finish up the songs before the sermon. However, during the sermon, Harrison started to lose it and would not stay with anyone except me without screaming his lungs out!! Needless to say, I could not go back up to sing/play for the rest of the service. I was frustrated, but I try to remind myself that these are big changes for our sweet boys as well and I need to be patient with them! So, we were happy to make it through the service this week with two happy boys! Before we left, Cameron made sure to get some practice in on the drums!




















Like I said, it was a busy week, but we are thankful for busy weeks because it means we are starting to get involved and make more friends! Life is certainly different, but we are thankful for community and the love that flows from all of them!

Family Day

One very nice benefit of living in Belgium is that they have a ton of public holidays!! In May alone, there are three holidays where Cole can stay home and spend time with us! Yesterday happened to be a holiday and, even though he had enough work to work all day, he stayed home and spent the day with us! We had such a nice day. We decided to try out an indoor water park called S&R Rozebroeken to see if we could add it to the list of things for me to do with the boys. We had so much fun there. They had a nice area where the boys could crawl around, slide, and jump in the water. Additionally, there were some larger slides and a wave pool that Cole and I could enjoy! The facility is very large with lots of options for playing, swimming, and eating. We will definitely be going back again! We spent the rest of the day relaxing and playing at home. I even snuck in a rare two hour nap!! :) I am so thankful for the amount of time that we get to spend together as a family here. I know I am getting very spoiled, but I am going to take advantage of all the extra time we get while I can!

Here are a few pics from the pool...

running to the pool

sliding and swimming

Dutch Lessons

Before we moved to Gent, we were told that people here speak Flemish. I could not remember any time in my life where I had heard Flemish or had ever even thought about learning the language. However, when we decided to come here, it seemed like it would be a good idea to try to learn some so we could converse with the locals. When we arrived, our relocation agent explained to us that Flemish and Dutch were very similar and that Flemish was to Dutch like U.S. English was to U.K. English. She thought it would be more beneficial for us to learn Dutch as it is more widely used than Flemish. So, Dutch it is!

We looked into our options for lessons which included Rosetta Stone (or some other computer based courses), taking classes in a group setting at a school, or having a private tutor come to our home. We decided that, with the boys, it would be easiest to have a private tutor come to the loft once a week in the evening and work with us. Our first night of lessons was last night! I was sooooooo nervous to start. I am not confident with other languages and get uncomfortable when I can't make the proper sounds or pronunciations. I was told by others here that the teacher would just come in the house, start speaking Dutch to us, and never use English...I was terrified!! We decided that we would put Harrison to bed, but keep Cameron up so he could at least hear us talking and working on learning the language. Our instructor, Philipe, arrived at 7:30, planned to stay for and hour and a half, and would cover two lessons. He was so kind. He immediately put us at ease (in English) and told us not to be worried or stressed out. After some administrative info, we jumped right in. Once the lesson started, he spoke in Dutch, unless he was explaining the reason for something. We did a lot of repeating, questions and answers, and naming things on pictures. We learned basic things like how to introduce ourselves, and other basic phrases (thank you, you're welcome, numbers, etc.). It was a lot of information, but our time went so fast! I couldn't believe it when our time was up. After giving us some homework, Philipe was off and will come again next Monday! I have to say, during the course of our first lesson, I went from being completely terrified to very excited to continue learning more. I can't wait for him to come back again next week...hopefully he will be pleased with our homework and progress during this week! :)

A Catch-up Post - Our First Two Months

Well, we've covered the decision process, traveling/moving, the first week, and recent events, but I wanted to share what happened in those first two months. First of all, we spent (and still do spend) a lot of our time asking people "do you speak English?"...Hence, the title of the blog.

The second week we were in Gent, we continued to try to adjust to our new life here, Cole started working a little bit (which was scary for me), and we received our sea shipment from the U.S. We were supposed to get our air and sea shipments on the same day, but we received an email the day before the delivery letting us know that they had accidentally shipped someone else's air freight to Belgium instead of ours!! We were frustrated, but probably not as frustrated as the people who were told that their valuables were in Belgium instead of the U.S. Anyway, we were VERY excited to get some of our things so we could feel a little more at home here...especially all of our beds! The movers who came were fantastic! I have never lived in a city, and definitely have never lived on the 5th floor of a building, so I had no idea how they were planning to get our things into the loft. Here are some pictures of the process...I was impressed and amazed!

Moving our things in through the window

Looking down at the street from our fifth story window

The movers put all of our things on this lift, hauled it in through our fifth story window, and put it in the loft! I would have been terrified, but they were obviously very experienced!

We had a ton of boxes, paper, and trash from unpacking, but thankfully, they took it all with them!

We received our air freight the next week and I spent the next couple weeks continuing to clean, unpack, put things away, adjust to life in Belgium, explore, and entertain the boys. I'm still moving things around as we find out what works best, but after the first few weeks, we really started to feel like we were at home. On top of unpacking, we had to purchase some new appliances with the proper European plugs, and some furniture for the loft. We really haven't purchased anything big since either of the boys were born, so it was quite an experience trying to pick out furniture and make a good/united decision while also trying to rein in the troops! I don't remember how many times we went to the store to furnish the loft, but it was several too many! As a side note, we have yet to find any furniture stores here that have much in stock. For example, we ordered a couch from a store called Gaverzicht and were told it would be 10 weeks before it would be delivered! 10 weeks!!! That was hard for our American brains to comprehend. We still don't have couches in our living room, but we're making it somehow. :) 

We have started to get a bit of a routine. It's not so much a routine as it is I know where things are, when they are open, and what they have, etc. I feel confident getting places, and I'm even starting to get more confident just walking around, even if I get lost. People have been very helpful so far and so I'm not as afraid as I was. This may sound weird, but when we arrived, I was so worried that we stuck out like a sore thumb. I also felt like a very dumb American. Belgians typically know three languages (Dutch, French, and English). These are taught standard in school, so I felt really dumb only knowing one language. It took me a long time to stop feeling so self-conscious and just be. It wasn't until just the other day that I realized that people can't even really tell I'm from America! I have had several people ask in the past couple weeks where I am from...none of them could tell I was from America. I thought there was a red, white, and blue flag waving above my head signaling that I was American. And I was sure that as soon as I opened my mouth, they would know. Because of all the negative things that America has been involved with over the last  couple years, it's hard to know what people think about Americans. I didn't want anyone to know for the longest time. I was worried they wouldn't like me or immediately think less of me. So I was very quiet if and when we went out. I didn't say anything or look at anyone. Of course every time we went out, Cameron would immediately blow my cover because, if you know Cameron, you know that he is not quiet, nor does he hide in the shadows! :) I am thankful that I feel more confident and less worried about what other people think. I am American, I like America, I like Belgium, and that's ok!   

Here are a few stories from our first two months here...

I was very hesitant to go out by myself and explore because I didn't want to get lost. One of the first times I really ventured out with the boys on my own, I tried to go over to visit Cole at work. Cameron wanted to get him a pastry from the bakery nearby and give it to him for dinner. I had forgotten that Cole had dinner plans with a colleague, so we decided to walk to where he works and take it to him before dinner. I didn't really know how to get there, but I decided I could make it! So, I strapped Harrison in the backpack (all 24 lbs of him) and put Cameron on his bike and off we went. To make a long story short, I got REALLY lost and ended up in the red light district instead of with Cole. It was quite a scene...me with my two little boys in the middle of the red light district! There were many people in the windows (I'm sure you know what I mean), and in true Cameron fashion, he was waving and saying "hi" to all of them! I'm glad he was enjoying it, because it was a mess! What should have taken maybe 20 minutes ended up taking an hour and a half and we never even made it to Cole! At one point I was on the phone with Cole, but we were both so confused as to where I was and where I needed to go that we gave up! I was very frustrated and tired (remember the 24 lbs on my back??) by the time we got home. The weekend after that incident, Cole walked with me to show me the way to get to his work and back. We have now successfully been there many times!

The weather has been very interesting since we've been here. It seems like it's been pretty unpredictable everywhere, but we realized pretty quickly after we arrived that we would need to invest in some quality winter gear. Because we grew up in Ohio, we are used to snow and crazy winter weather, but it has been a long time since we have been have had to endure the cold/snow for that long! We had to take Harrison to the doctor the second or third week we were here because of an ear infection. Because the doctor is only a 5 minute walk from our loft (10 minute drive plus parking), we decided that it would be better to just walk. Cole took the morning off to help me get to the doctor. I'm sure you have seen the pictures on Facebook, but let me fill in the details! While it had been snowing on and off the days leading up to the doctor appointment, it hadn't really stuck and we weren't worried about it the night before. However, when we woke up in the morning, this is what we saw...

Lots and lots of snow! We decided that we would not be deterred and that "when in Belgium, do as the Belgians do!" So we bundled the boys up the best we could and were on our way. We were pretty successful until Cameron stepped in a huge snow drift and stepped out without his boot. When I picked him up to try to help, the other boot fell off! So I dug the boots out of the snow and tried to carry him the rest of the way to the doctor (his socks were soaking wet)! It was crazy, but also fun! An adventure! We made it there and back in one piece and, for the most part, we were happy. 

Another thing that we have had to deal with since we've been here is the sale of our house. When I say "deal with," I just mean we had to get some paperwork notarized and send it back to the U.S. To do that, we had to go to Brussels (all of us) to the U.S. embassy to sign the paperwork and have it notarized. Cole was very prepared for this trip...he made an appointment with the embassy, had all the necessary paperwork, passports, payment, etc. In fact, he was so prepared for our trip to Brussels that we went a week early! When we arrived at the gate, the officer tried to find our name on the sheet so we could go in. After he looked for a bit, he asked for our appointment paperwork. After looking over it, he looked at us, almost laughing, and said that it was not yet March 28th...it was only March 21st! He made a call inside and asked if we could be seen anyways and told us we could go in. Our experience at the embassy that day was not great. They were not very friendly with anyone, not even the Americans! We had to stand outside, in the snow, for almost an hour and a French gentleman cut in front of everyone and took a bunch of time so that we had to wait even longer! Once we got to the door, they only let one of us in at a time. So the boys and I went in to go through security while Cole waited outside. Once I was inside, they told me that we had to have an appointment and that we could not be seen that day! Even though we were not there on the right day, it was frustrating that we waited outside for so long in the snow with the boys. When we went back for our actual appointment, we still stood outside for almost an hour and wouldn't you know it, another French gentleman cut in front of everyone again! Cole stood up for all of us that he cut in front of and confronted him about it. After some words, other people backed Cole up, but the man would not move. He took up a lot of time, but ended up being escorted out because he did not have what he needed to complete whatever he was there for. We stayed at the embassy for several hours, but we got the necessary paperwork and, as I have mentioned before, the house is now sold!

One other little adventure that I experienced happened while Cole was on his first work trip to France. The boys and I were planning to go along because I wasn't sure if I could handle things by myself so soon after moving. But after talking through it, it didn't make sense for us to spend all that money to go with him and just sit in our hotel room while he worked. The town he went to is small and there's not much to do or see there, so we decided that, at least for this trip, we would stay home. Anyways, I needed to find things to do with the boys because I knew I would go nuts if I didn't have some things planned. So, I decided to take them to an aquarium in Liege. I had looked it up online and it looked nice. I knew Cameron would love the fish and that Harrison would like looking at them as well. I also thought that it was just 30 minutes from our house. However, after talking it up to Cameron, packing everything up, and making our way to the car, I discovered after punching in the address into the GPS that it was actually 1 1/2 southeast of us  in the French speaking region of Belgium!

Looking at the sharks

 I knew I couldn't back out once we were in the car and I did not have a plan B, so off we went. I decided that once we got there, it would be worth it and the drive wouldn't matter. When we arrived, I found parking on the street, payed, and then prayed I would remember where we parked so I could get back. I found the aquarium pretty easily, but when I got there, I discovered that there was no way in except to go up about 30 stairs! Having the boys, two bags (a diaper bag and a lunch bag), and a double stroller, it was not going to happen! I wanted to cry. I decided that I would at least give it a try. So I got the boys out, folded the stroller, and tried to start up the stairs. Thankfully, a kind soul had pity on me, grabbed the stroller, and carried it up the stairs for me! Once we were inside the building, I quickly realized two things...first, this was not an aquarium that we would find in America, and two, people did not speak English as readily as here in Gent. The aquarium was part of the university in Liege and was more like a place to go study fossils, etc. There were some fish , turtles, and an alligator in a very small, dark room, but we were through there in 10 minutes! Again, I wanted to cry! We went to the room where the fossils were located to see if I could entertain the boys there, but it was very quiet and there were many people studying in there, so I felt like I was a real nuisance! We quickly ate lunch after the fossils, then went to see the fish again. We stayed for maybe another 30 minutes before the boys had had enough! I gave up and decided it would just be better to go home. Luckily, on the way out another good samaritan who worked at the aquarium saw me with the stroller and showed me a way out that did not involve stairs. I made it back to the car without incident and we headed back to Gent. Fortunately, the boys promptly fell asleep and I was able to focus on getting home. Unfortunately, I ran into rush hour traffic and our 1 1/2 hour trip home turned into 3 hours! Harrison was kind enough to scream for the last half hour of the trip! At least it got us out of the loft for the day :)

In the belly of the whale!

Rather than type out all that we have done the past two months, here are a few more pictures of things we have done since we've been here:

bike rides

parks around our loft

 

fun indoor playground

Cole ran his first 10k (with no training)

Celebrated Easter at International Community Church Gent

More Parks

 

Walking to where Cole works for lunch with daddy 

We've eaten lots of ice cream!

Played at the mall or "bus store" as Cameron likes to call it

Picnics at the park near our loft

and this little man turned 1!

One thing that was really difficult for us when we first arrived was that we wanted to get everything done and settled right away. Cole wanted to fix the problems at work that he was sent here to deal with immediately, and I wanted to clean, unpack, and furnish the loft immediately. It took us a few days to remember that we did not have to do it all right away. We needed to take time to enjoy each other and the time that we were given. We made a pact in the second week to give everything 90 days. We did not have to do everything right away. We did not need to stress out about everything. Looking back it's kind of funny because we were REALLY stressed about it. It hasn't even been 90 days yet, but I have cleaned, unpacked everything, and mostly furnished the apartment. Although the problems at work are not an overnight fix, Cole has a good handle on what needs to be done and is moving forward with his colleagues to make necessary changes. We trying to enjoy this experience and remember that we have been very blessed!