Beste België

Dear Belgium,

Today is our last day in the place we have called home for the last three and a half years. It's our last day walking through the beautiful streets of Gent. Our last day seeing dear friends and eating food that we have come to love. It's our last day in the town where our dear Zoe was born. It's our last day!

Thank you Belgium for accepting us with open arms, despite the fact that we still don't speak your language(s) as well as we should. Thank you for being patient and helping us as we adjusted to the way of life here. Thank you for sharing your vibrant city, your beautiful buildings, your history, the people who pass through each day. Thank you for pushing us out of our comfort zone and making us move forward thorough difficult or uncomfortable situations so we could grow and learn. Thank you for being uniquely you and as a result, the little idiosyncrasies that have become endearing (for the most part).

Thank you for amazing neighbors, both Belgian and non-Belgian, who welcomed us into our apartment and made us feel at home. Thank you for the wonderful bakery, pharmacy, and gelato shop just down the street and the people who worked there and became a part of our day to day life. Thank you to the incredible school that helped us all grow and learn so much, again, pushing us outside our comfort zone to meet and know people from other countries. Thank you to the dear expat friends who walked this journey with us, understanding the things that seemed crazy or difficult for us. Thank you to the many Belgians who welcomed us into the community and invested in our lives, even though we would certainly leave some day. Thank you for a wonderful church family that welcomed us and invested in our lives from the first week we were here. There are too many people to thank to name them all individually...our hearts have been filled by meeting so many wonderful people; people who will stay in our hearts forever.

These past weeks have been filled with many emotions. Our hearts have been full of thankfulness for all the things we have experienced, sadness because of what we are leaving, excitement for what's to come, anticipation of being back with our dear family and friends back home, regret, happiness, fear, and on and on.

At the end of the day, we hope that we made the most of this experience. Of course there are always things that we could have done better...we could have learned more Flemish, we could have traveled more, we could have explored our city and country more, we could have met more people in our community, etc...but we hope that, when we look back at this time, we will see that we did what we could and lived to fullest. We also hope that we were good ambassadors for the U.S. and that we made a difference in some way during our time here; that we left our mark on this place in some small way. We have loved our time here and there is very little that we will not miss!

Tomorrow, we will walk onto a plane, a little slower than normal, knowing that we won't be returning, at least not any time soon. The weight of that knowledge is real, but we thank God for this opportunity and experience. We thank God for what has happened and what is to come.

Hartelijk bedankt, België! Wij zullen u missen!

Transition

A few months ago, we learned that Cole's assignment here is coming to an end and we will be returning home this summer. While we have always known that our assignment could end at any time, I was still surprised when we received the news. For the majority of our time here, we have been uncertain of when we would go home...sometimes we were told six months, other times, two more years. So, while I have always known this assignment would come to an end, it has still been difficult for me to process. We love it here. We love the people we have met here. We love our church here. We love the school here. At the same time, we love those things about home as well! When we are here, we are happy. When we are home, we are happy. While that's a very good problem to have, it's still a bit confusing for all of us.

We have spent the last few weeks trying to prepare ourselves for the move home. We've been looking for a place to live when we move home, trying to find a school for the kids, making arrangements for moving our things home, selling items we don't need or can't use at home, and trying to spend as much time as possible with our friends here in Belgium. There are so many emotions through all of this. When we left to come to Belgium, we were sad to leave our friends and family and we have missed them tremendously, but I always knew we would go back. These goodbyes are different. I don't know if and/or when I will see these people who have become dear friends. Again, this is a good problem to have, but it's still difficult.

As I said before, the goodbyes have already begun. Even though we have a few more weeks before we actually fly home, we've already seen some good friends for the last time. Our church family in Gent gave us a going away party, much like the one our church family back home gave us before we came to Belgium. These people have been such a blessing to us; they have welcomed us with open arms and have invested in our lives and the lives of our children. It was nice to spend a few hours with them talking, laughing, crying, reminiscing, and reading through a book of pictures and memories that they created for us.

Mariale, Inge, and Gislene

Looking through the book they prepared for us

Willem and Inge

Christine, Melissa, Naomi, Bianca, and Faith

Andrew and Jacob

Dear friends!

Gislene and Antonio

Grace and Kasun

Mariale and Pieter

Since we don't currently have a house (or anywhere to live) back home...

Gislene and Mariale - the party organizers

Now that this is very official (our tickets home have been purchased), time is flying by. We are trying to soak up every last minute we have here, but I can feel the time slipping away. As we say goodbye to friends, as we begin to sell our things and organize for packing, as we think about leaving this beautiful city, it doesn't feel real. I'm not sure it will completely sink in that we are not coming back after the summer until we actually don't come back. I am bracing myself for the crazy emotions and ups and downs that are sure to come with this move. I have read enough stories about repatriating to know that this transition won't be easy, but we are very lucky to be going back to supportive friends and family, a great church, and a secure job situation. Until then, we will try our best to enjoy these last moments in Gent!

Happy Birthday, Cole!

Today is Cole's 33rd birthday! This past year has been a pretty crazy one for Cole; lots of ups and downs, full of risks, successes, failures, frustrations, and excitement. This year I have watched Cole pursue dreams, I have seen doors close, I have seen doors open, then close again, and I have seen failure. He has been fearless, not spooked by challenges or other difficult things that have come his way. Through it all, I have seen a man of integrity, a man who loves and cares for his family, and a man who has held his head high, even when things have been emotionally tough. I am so thankful for Cole and the many, many years I have been able to spend with him.

We had a birthday dinner tonight for Cole. He chose what he wanted and we ate together, talked about our days, and celebrated. At the end of dinner, I asked the boys to each name something they were thankful for about daddy. Cameron said, "I am thankful that daddy brings home money, that he brings the bacon." Harrison said, I am thankful that daddy is like me." I loved their responses because, in their own ways, they were saying that they love daddy because daddy takes care of them and makes them feel loved, protected, and secure in who they are.

For his birthday, Cole fulfilled an almost three year old desire to visit Sint-Sixtusabdij Westvleteren. I am not a beer connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination, but this is apparently the beer to have in Belgium, possibly the best in the world (according to Cole). You can't buy this beer in any other stores, although you can occasionally find it in a bar for an outrageous price. Anyway, the monks brew the beer at the monastery and sell it to support and sustain themselves (no more, no less). To purchase the beer, you have to call on certain days, during certain hours to make an appointment. If you are even able to get through, you have to make an appointment during one of their rare opening times to pick up the beer. Additionally, you have to give your license plate number and you can only purchase two crates per license plate once you're there. Long story short(ish), Cole has been wanting to go for a really long time and hasn't been able to for one reason or another, so you can imagine how excited he was when he finally got through and was given an appointment the day before his birthday! He made the hour long journey to West Flanders yesterday to pick up his two crates. The monestary is in the middle of nowhere and you are not allowed to visit the brewery, so you literally pull into a drive thru where they check your license plate, then bring you your crates.

The drive thru

After Cole picked up his crates, he went to the visitors center to pick up the proper accompanying Westvleteren glasses to go along with his beer. He also found a bit of excess beer and grabbed that up while he was there. He was very excited when he got home! Needless to say, I think this was a good birthday!

Happy birthday to my love, my best friend, and the best life adventure partner I could ever imagine!

Mother's Day 2016

Today is Mother's Day. I like Mother's Day because it helps me remember and reflect on how much my own mother has done for me...how much she has taught me and how much I look up to her. She is a wonderful example of perseverance, patience, grace, and unconditional love for her children. She has been through so many things in her life, more than I can even imagine, but she still chooses joy. She is not perfect, but she has shown me how to be a better mom to my own children. I still ask her for advice all the time and am very thankful to have her in my life!

On this Mother's Day, I have three sweet babies here sleeping in their beds and one sweet little one in heaven that we never met. These children that God has given us are some of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I rarely feel worthy enough to have them in my life, even on my "good" mothering days. However, I love these precious ones and am extremely thankful for their love and grace as I try to figure out motherhood. I hope they know how much I love them. I hope they know that I am proud of them. I hope they know that God has a plan for their little lives. I hope they know that even on my not-so-good mothering days, I would still give up just about anything for them. I hope they know...

Today, I am specifically thinking about two friends who are missing their sweet children who were here with them one day, and gone the next. Both wonderful mothers, full of love and grace. Both mothers that I look up to. I pray for joy and peace as they navigate this day. I hope they know their sweet children are not forgotten and talked about often.

I felt very spoiled, and undeserving today as the kids (and Cole) took great care of me. They made me breakfast, gave me some thoughtful gifts, cleaned the whole terrace for me, and then went on a bike ride with me (one of my favorite things to do).

There is no way to describe how thankful I feel to have our kids in our life; to have the opportunity to be a mother to them. They make me smile, they make me laugh, they make me cry, and sometimes, they make me want to pull my hair out, but at the end of the day, they are one of life's greatest blessings. I hope they know!

Date Night in Paris

Last weekend, Cole was invited to Paris for the end of a project that he has been working on for a little over a year. All of the guys invited were also told they could bring their spouses/partners along to celebrate the close of the project. So, when Cole told me I was invited, of course I wanted to try to go along. We thought about how to make it work with the kiddos and decided to ask a few couples from church if they would be interested in helping us out. They said they would be happy to help, so we planned our trip!

We left around 12:30 on Saturday afternoon and headed down. We weren't sure what to expect on our way with all the recent drama, but we did not encounter any problems at any of the checkpoints along the way. When we arrived in Paris, we checked into our hotel and relaxed (in the quiet, in the stillness, with no one jumping on our bed) until it was time for dinner. 

Our Hotel

We had dinner at a nice restaurant with Cole's colleagues and spouses/partners, then walked around the city for a while afterwards. The Christmas lights were up, the Christmas market was open, and there were people everywhere! It was nice to see that this beautiful city we both love so much has not been held hostage by recent events.

Meanwhile at home, the kids were having a blast! They built cable cars, they played games, they ate pizza, they built a lego/block/any other material they could find city, etc. While we missed the kids, we didn't worry about them once, which was so nice! We are very lucky to have such wonderful, generous friends!

Working on their cable cars

The next morning, Cole had to go to the final meeting for their project, so I took advantage of the peace and quiet and ordered breakfast in my room! When he was finished, we packed up and headed back to Gent. 

Cole and I don't get the opportunity to go out very often, much less overnight, so this really was a special treat for us. Not to mention we were in Paris! I am never disappointed by Paris. It is a beautiful, lively city and I'm happy we could make some sweet memories there together, just the two of us!