Beste België

Dear Belgium,

Today is our last day in the place we have called home for the last three and a half years. It's our last day walking through the beautiful streets of Gent. Our last day seeing dear friends and eating food that we have come to love. It's our last day in the town where our dear Zoe was born. It's our last day!

Thank you Belgium for accepting us with open arms, despite the fact that we still don't speak your language(s) as well as we should. Thank you for being patient and helping us as we adjusted to the way of life here. Thank you for sharing your vibrant city, your beautiful buildings, your history, the people who pass through each day. Thank you for pushing us out of our comfort zone and making us move forward thorough difficult or uncomfortable situations so we could grow and learn. Thank you for being uniquely you and as a result, the little idiosyncrasies that have become endearing (for the most part).

Thank you for amazing neighbors, both Belgian and non-Belgian, who welcomed us into our apartment and made us feel at home. Thank you for the wonderful bakery, pharmacy, and gelato shop just down the street and the people who worked there and became a part of our day to day life. Thank you to the incredible school that helped us all grow and learn so much, again, pushing us outside our comfort zone to meet and know people from other countries. Thank you to the dear expat friends who walked this journey with us, understanding the things that seemed crazy or difficult for us. Thank you to the many Belgians who welcomed us into the community and invested in our lives, even though we would certainly leave some day. Thank you for a wonderful church family that welcomed us and invested in our lives from the first week we were here. There are too many people to thank to name them all individually...our hearts have been filled by meeting so many wonderful people; people who will stay in our hearts forever.

These past weeks have been filled with many emotions. Our hearts have been full of thankfulness for all the things we have experienced, sadness because of what we are leaving, excitement for what's to come, anticipation of being back with our dear family and friends back home, regret, happiness, fear, and on and on.

At the end of the day, we hope that we made the most of this experience. Of course there are always things that we could have done better...we could have learned more Flemish, we could have traveled more, we could have explored our city and country more, we could have met more people in our community, etc...but we hope that, when we look back at this time, we will see that we did what we could and lived to fullest. We also hope that we were good ambassadors for the U.S. and that we made a difference in some way during our time here; that we left our mark on this place in some small way. We have loved our time here and there is very little that we will not miss!

Tomorrow, we will walk onto a plane, a little slower than normal, knowing that we won't be returning, at least not any time soon. The weight of that knowledge is real, but we thank God for this opportunity and experience. We thank God for what has happened and what is to come.

Hartelijk bedankt, België! Wij zullen u missen!

2 Years in Belgium

Today marks two years since we landed in Belgium and started life here. This past year has been very different from our first year here (in my opinion). We have adjusted much more to life in Belgium and though there are still challenges, we have come to appreciate much about life here. Of course we still struggle with missing things about home and friends and family, but I feel like we have eased into a way of life that works for us...and we are happy here. We have continued to choose to make Gent our home and not constantly compare or wish we were somewhere else. Although there are tough days from time to time, we are happy.

One of the biggest things I've observed over the past year is that Belgium really does feel like home, or more normal. You might recall a couple of posts I wrote a while ago about the differences between here and the U.S. With the exception of my Belgian birthing experience (which I still need to write about), I feel like I would have to think really hard about it to write another substantive post like the ones above. Instead, I am starting to feel like I could write those posts when we go back to the U.S. It's weird, but things sometimes feel strange when we go home...and it can be frustrating. This is not to put down where we are from in any way because we do love it there. But it's hard to go back and be so different. We have changed and grown a lot these past two years and are not the same people who stepped off that plane two years ago. Our outlook on life, our exposure to so many nationalities and personalities, our willingness to challenge ourselves and step out of our comfort zone...these things have changed us. At the same time, things have moved on back home. This is not the first time I have talked about this, but it's hard to go and try to fit back into our lives in the U.S. Life moves on and we can feel a drifting apart. It's more of a struggle to see how we fit into the life that we once had. This revelation is both exciting and sad; Exciting because I think we are becoming more open to the things in life that God may have for us, but sad because we also see the life we had and loved fading away.

Because we are feeling more at home here, the loneliness and some of the other struggles (hello grocery shopping) that I had the first year are also fading away. Instead, I can see the enormous ways that God has blessed us this year from the experiences we've had, to the people we've met, to the places we've traveled, to the opportunities we've had to grow and serve, to the beautiful addition to our family. I am in awe of the things that our children are getting to experience at such a young age! I still have moments of panic when trying to plan for the future, just as I did before we came and all throughout the first year, but I think those moments are more few and far between these days then a year ago.

I am extremely thankful for this opportunity to grow, see the world, and stretch ourselves as a family. It's been a great year full of many of blessings. We thank God for surrounding us with such a wonderful community who have supported us and walked with us on this journey. I have no doubt that they will continue to walk beside us as we move into year three in Belgium! We look forward to many more fun adventures in Gent and beyond!  

A post from me would not complete without some pictures...so here are some highlights from the year!

Our family at the beginning of 2014

Cologne, Germany

Tenerife, Spain

Our family now...

Zoe's Story

Zoe is here! She came into this world in surprising way that still has us a bit in shock. I will tell that story in a minute, but I wanted to start by saying that we are so over the moon happy to add Zoe to our family. However, we are also a bit overwhelmed by pretty much everything at the moment! Life will never be the same!

So Zoe's birth. Everything started last Thursday afternoon...

Thursday, November 13th: I had an appointment to see my doctor for a checkup to make sure everything was still looking ok with the baby and me. It was a good appointment. The doctor told me that Zoe was head down and ready to go, but that I was not dilated at all at that point. Although I was ready (physically) to be done with the pregnancy, I was not surprised to hear that I was not dilated as I was still 11 days away from her due date. Cole and I left the appointment and made plans for the following week to get this and that done before she arrived. Later that evening, I started having contractions that were 5-7 minutes apart. They were not very intense, but they were real and lasted for hours. I was up most of the night timing them and getting anxious that Zoe would be coming soon. I sent my mom a text to let her know what was going on...she had a plane ticket to come on the 18th because we thought that would give us plenty of time before the baby came. Anyways, I let her know what was going on around 3:30 am our time (9:30 pm her time) so that she could be prepared to jump on a plane if needed.

Friday, November 14th: By 5:30 am on the 14th, the contractions had increased in intensity, but become very inconsistent in frequency. I was a little discouraged and didn't know what to make of the whole night before, but Cole and I decided that this was probably still the beginning of labor and that we would ask my mom to change her ticket and come immediately. Cole called my dad in the morning and, by the afternoon, my mom had a new ticket to leave that day and arrive the next day to help us out. I can't thank both of my parents enough for dropping everything immediately and making plans to come help us. We also had some friends on standby here just in case something happened before my mom could get here. The contractions came and went throughout the day on Friday and continued to increase in intensity, but not frequency throughout the evening. By the time I went to bed, they were every 20 minutes or so.

Saturday, November 15th: My mom arrived on Saturday morning around 10:00 and immediately jumped in to help with the boys and anything else that we needed. I spent a good portion of the day in bed trying to relax, but in reality, just laid there very anxious. The contractions were painful at this point, as in, stop what I was doing and breathe through it, but still only coming about every 20 minutes. We were confused and I started to think that I was crazy and had forgotten what real contractions felt like. We didn't know what to do, but we did know that they would send me home if I went to the hospital with contractions only every 20 minutes. I tried walking around the house, changing positions, etc., but nothing seemed to make the contractions really kick into gear and come at a more frequent pace. Around 6:00 pm, I decided to take a shower to try to relax. I took a nice long, hot shower and noticed that the contractions started to become more frequent. As soon as I got out of the shower, the contractions immediately began to come every 2-3 minutes and were the worst contractions that I have ever felt...up to that point. I told Cole that we needed to get ready to go to the hospital because this was for sure the real deal. Despite having had contractions for so long already, we only had our bags semi packed (what were we thinking??), so we needed to get everything together and down to the car. We also wanted to make sure the boys were ready with what they needed. Of course my mom was a lifesaver!! She immediately took over bath time and made it possible for me to leave without feeling too guilty. An hour later, we were in the car heading to the hospital. I don't know if I can even describe the car ride to the hospital...there were so many emotions going on inside of me, but more than that, every bump, jolt, curve, or move made me want to die as the contractions came and went. Poor Cole...I was begging him to hurry, but not too fast, but to get there NOW, but without getting near any bumps in the road. He was a champ and got us there ASAP. We arrived at the hospital at 8:30 pm. He grabbed a wheel chair, which you have to pay for like a cart at a grocery store, threw me and the bags on it, and went inside as quickly as possible. We passed by the ER, told them we were having a baby, and, after seeing the urgency in my face, quickly showed us to the maternity floor. The midwife on duty took us to a room and hooked me up to monitors to watch my contractions and Zoe's heart rate during the contractions. She told me that she wanted to monitor me for 30 minutes before checking my progress. I started to panic a bit because I was in a lot of pain and did not want to have to lay down for 30 more minutes of contractions. For me, it's torture to just lay still on my back through a contraction. Thankfully, after the second contraction while hooked up the the monitor, my water broke. We called for the midwife and she said she would go ahead and check me right away for my progress. She told me that I was almost 6 cm dilated at the moment, but waited for another contraction and told me I was 7 cm after that contraction. She told me I was going to have the baby in the next 10 minutes and that she would call the doctor to immediately prepare for delivery. I was in shock and a little delirious at that point. Cole wanted to get something from the car before the baby came, so he decided to quickly go get it. The midwife told him to RUN, so run he did. He was back in the room about five minutes later, sweating profusely, just in front of the doctor who came in the room in her street clothes. She literally walked in the room, threw on a small gown, and told me to get ready to push. I pushed two times and before I knew it, Zoe was laying on my chest. She was born at 9:03 pm, just 33 minutes after we got out of the car in the hospital parking lot.

First time in my arms!

Ten minutes after she was born, Cole and I were completely alone in a quiet room with Zoe...we just stared at each other and Zoe for a while, not really knowing what to say. Finally Cole said that he felt like we just went to the grocery store, got a baby, and that it was time to go home. I agreed that it was crazy and could not believe what had just happened.

After an hour of alone time, the midwives came back to weigh and measure Zoe. 

As a side note, I have always wanted to have a baby completely naturally...without an epidural or any pain medicine. I couldn't with Cameron and Harrison for various reasons, but really wanted to try with this pregnancy. I knew my best shot of having a natural delivery would be to labor at home as long as possible. I guess God heard the desires of my heart because there was absolutely no time for anything other than good ole fashioned pushing the baby out once we were at the hospital. Even though it was an extremely painful experience, I would not trade her story for anything. I'm actually very thankful for how things went down. I feel like the delivery fits with the pregnancy and the little girl I imagined I would meet when she was born. 

We spent a lot of time trying to decide what to name this baby girl. We wanted to give her a name that would give a nod to the fact that she was born in Belgium, but we didn't want to make it difficult for when we return home (spelling, pronunciation, etc.). I looked and looked for something that felt right and Zoe jumped out at me. First of all, do you remember that Cameron wanted to name her "Joey the seal?" Well, Zoe is pretty close! Second, it just seemed to fit. When we asked the boys what they thought of the name, they immediately started calling her Zoe. It quickly went from Zoe to Zo bug, and before we knew it, that was her name. There was no turning back. The boys would give Zo bug nightly hugs and kisses and talk to her often. It didn't seem like we would be able to change the name after that. We all just felt like it was right. Even though Zoe is not a Flemish name, it is a relatively popular name used in Belgium. We chose to spell it "Zoe" because, with the exception of the dots over the "ë," that is the spelling used here in Belgium vs the more common spelling in the U.S., "Zoey." We decided not to add the dots to her name because the Americans wouldn't know what to do with that once we got home (I had to look up how to put the dots on for this post). So Zoe it is and we love it!

Zoe is very different from our boys. First of all, she is very quiet. Those of you who know Cameron and Harrison (and Cole), know that they are anything but quiet. They are loud, rambunctious, wild, and pretty much always moving. And I love that about them. But Zoe is not. She barely made a peep when she was born and still, unless her belly is hurting or she's really hungry, really doesn't make a sound. She just looks at you or slowly around the room with these sweet, innocent eyes. And she loves to snuggle and sleep. I've been trying to savor these snuggles as much as possible while she still wants to be in my arms. She is also different from the boys in that she's very petite. While the boys were both average size when they were born (7 lb. 1 oz, and 7 lb. 10 oz), they ate like monsters from the moment they were born and never actually lost weight. Zoe, however, was small to begin with, 6 lb. 12 oz, and lost 7 % of her birth weight before we left the hospital. I'm not accustomed to small babies, so I was a little worried at first, but she is doing much better now and gaining that weight back quickly. She has such a sweet spirit. I am so in love. 

We were able to come home from the hospital after two nights and have all been enjoying getting to know this new little life. We're also trying to figure out how to fit her into our lives.

More on my experience giving birth in Belgium, our hospital stay, the first week home, and the boys meeting their little sister for the first time at a later date. For now, more snuggles with my little girl!

Fall Trip Home

We just returned back from another enjoyable trip to the U.S. to visit friends and family. Cole had to be back for work at this time anyway, so I decided, despite my extremely pregnant state, to brave the flight home for the chance to see loved ones once more this year. We took advantage of being able to get cheaper baby items and did a lot of shopping, but we were also able to see so many people who mean the world to us, attend our home church and shepherding group, visit some of our favorite places, and let the boys have some fun sleepovers. We also made time for some fun activities while being back. Here are some pictures from our time at home. 

Fun times with family and friends

Helping Jessi with yard work

Hanging out with grandpa

Playdate with good buddies

Haircuts!

Baking with Jessi

Favorite play ground back home!

Airplanes going down the runway

Beautiful weather

S'mores!

We also participated in a Color Vibe run while home. The day before the run, we went to pick up our packets. The boys were super excited to get their t-shirts and color packets. 

Packet pickup!

The day of the race.

Sisters!

At the starting line

Cameron loved the race and actually ran a good amount with Jessi

Harrison preferred to ride on daddy's shoulders for most of the race

Crossing the finish line with Harrison and daddy

He did great!

All done...

Dancing at the after party

All cleaned up after the race

Boo in the Zoo - The boys loved dressing up and trick or treating at the zoo.

We also took the opportunity to take some family/maternity pictures while we were home. My talented sister/photographer was able to get some great shots for us!

Since Cameron was a pilot for trick or treating, he decided that it was important to also wear his costume on the flights home. His costume got him several invitations to see the cockpit and meet the pilots. Cameron was, of course, thrilled!

We arrived back at our loft in Belgium mid-morning, and exhausted, to find food on the counter and in the refrigerator as well as some other thoughtful gifts from our friends...we didn't have to worry about anything once we arrived. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with thankfulness for all the people God has placed in our lives both in Belgium and in the U.S. We are very lucky to have such great support systems in both places.

Our focus now is getting the house (and ourselves) ready for the arrival of baby girl in a couple weeks. We have been busy unpacking baby things, washing clothes, getting all the rooms ready, etc. Updates to come soon!