10 Years!

Today is our 10 year wedding anniversary! 10 years?! It's a big anniversary! Today, I am filled with happiness and thankfulness. It has been a wild ride with ups and downs, good times and not so good times, lots of adventure, lots of normal and mundane, and lots of learning and growth.

Here is a little synopsis of the last 10 years:

*We've moved ten times and lived in six different towns/cities.
*We've lived overseas two times
*We've had two pets
*We've owned one house and two cars
*We've been able to travel many places including Maui and other places in the U.S., England, Scotland, the Netherlands, Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain.
*We've lost one baby to a miscarriage at  twelve weeks
*We now have three healthy and beautiful children

16 year old sweethearts

Cole and I have been a couple for almost half our lives now and I don't think I have ever appreciated him more than I do now. We were babies when we got married...just 21 years old. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, what we were doing, how to love each other, how to compromise, how to listen, or how to be a team. But we have done a lot of learning over the past ten years, sometimes the hard way, and I don't think we have have ever been a better team. We are not the same people we were when we got married all those years ago, but by God's grace, we continue to move forward together.

Of course there are rough moments or days because marriage can be difficult, but I am thankful for a man who is dedicated to me and has determination to make our relationship last for a lifetime. He is a man of integrity, he provides for us, and he loves us. And we love him!

Happy Anniversary Cole! Come What May...

9 Years!

Today marks nine years since Cole and I got married! 

There have been many things running through my head as I've gone about the course of this very normal day. First, I am thankful. Thankful for my marriage, for the commitment that we have made to make this work, for the friendship I have with my husband, for the partner I have in my husband, for the family we have, and everything we have been given. Second, I don't think there is much more that can make you appreciate a good year of marriage than a bad year (or two) of marriage. If I'm being honest, when I wrote our anniversary post last year, I really had to struggle to find words to say. I didn't have that "lovin' feeling" that I thought I should be having towards my husband and we were struggling. I think we had been struggling for some time, but coming to Belgium and being alone really brought this to our attention. A little over a year ago, Cole and I discovered that we were drifting apart. We weren't on the same page about things and that was making it hard to align our priorities and decisions. We were able to better cover it up when we were busy at home with friends, family, church, and all the other things we were involved in. But when we came here, we were smacked in the face with this reality. At first, we tried to just pretend that we were fine, but after a while, that was not working. We were frustrated and almost just coexisting in our home. After a couple nights of some pretty intense discussion, Cole called on some friends from home to pray for us and to walk alongside us as we struggled. We were overwhelmed by the response that we received. These friends embraced us, prayed for us, loved us, and one couple even offered to drop everything and fly here to help us work through these things. They gave us freedom to be imperfect and still be loved…something that's not always easy to find. We are so thankful for them. Once we were able to open up and talk with others about what was going on, we were also able to hear stories from them about times when they struggled…these are couples that we look up to and respect and we couldn't believe that they had also had problems in their marriages. We were not alone and that was very comforting!

So what have we learned since then? Well, the biggest thing we have learned is that we were not doing a good job of communicating much of anything…our thoughts, expectations, needs, wants, feelings, how we wanted to parent, direction of our lives, etc. We also learned that we weren't very good at understanding how to relate to one another when one of us was frustrated or upset. So we decided to work on those things and really try to understand the other person.

While we definitely don't have a perfect relationship or marriage, I can honestly say that, since then, there has been growth and we have moved back towards each other in a great way. I think it's strange when I hear people say that they love their husband/wife more than they did before. I have always loved Cole…first as a friend, then as a wide eyed teenager, and then as my husband. He is my best friend on this earth and I love him. What I can say is that my love for him has changed over the years. It has deepened and matured. We have been through really good times and not so good times and we still love each other. We will not give up on each other or the family that we have been entrusted to care for.

Tonight, we were able to sneak out for a quick date night. We didn't get all dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant. Instead, we held hands, walked around Gent, and ate at a small local restaurant. After dinner, we went to get dessert, or more food for me. :) It wasn't fancy, but it was perfect. I love just being with Cole. I love watching him be a dad. I love talking about where we were, where we are now, and where we hope to be. I love doing life with him! As crazy as it sounds, I'm thankful for the smack in the face a year ago that has brought us to where we are now. We are much better for it!! So here's to many more years and new experiences!

Happy anniversary to my best friend!!

A Guest Post: Happy Anniversary to My Wife (and our anniversary date)

June 25, 2013 was our 8^th wedding anniversary. 

For a few hours six months ago, I wasn’t sure we’d make it here. Looking back on the weeks surrounding her seizures, sometimes I wonder if my initial thoughts and feelings in those first few hours after her first seizure were complete overreactions.

In the week leading up to her first seizure, Jenny had mentioned on a number of occasions that she had a pounding headache. Jenny is not one to complain about mild discomfort (she played her entire senior year of college volleyball with a fibula stress fracture with nary a peep), so at the time, I figured that if she was mentioning a headache to me, she was truly in pain.

In the few moments just after her first seizure, her recent headaches popped into my head. I assumed the two were connected and were symptoms of a more serious problem. I shared this with my dad, who is an ER physician, and asked him if he knew what could have caused a seizure. Thankfully, his years of experience kicked in and he answered with a calm “I don’t know.” 

In that moment, the way he answered my question was more important that what he actually said.  He’s always said that there are only two times you ought to be worried when you’re around doctors: when they don’t look like they know what they’re doing, or when they look panicked.  In that moment, he was neither. And I’m thankful for that because I would later learn that he was very concerned about what could be wrong with Jenny once he learned about her headaches. 

Despite the calm nature of all of the medical professionals that I came in contact with over the next few hours (the paramedics who responded, the ER staff that began treating Jenny, etc.), my mind kept going back to the same terrifying thought – I was going to have to say goodbye to her much sooner than I was prepared to.

Those thoughts only intensified after she had her second seizure, just before 7am.  She had only just begun to come out of the fog of her first seizure (someone described a seizure as a computer re-booting) and had begun to answer yes or no questions when her pupils dilated and round two began. 

I remember standing beside her bed, feeling completely helpless as she endured another seizure. There was nothing I could do and in those moments, reconciling my fear of the unknown with my belief in a God who holds every moment of Jenny’s life in his hands was nearly impossible.

But God is good and in the few seconds after her second seizure, the Holy Spirit reminded me that God seeks His own glory in everything and His glory is good. His glory also doesn’t require my understanding and I found myself praying over Jenny that He would be glorified in whatever the outcome was. 

A few moments later, dad shared with me that the results of her initial CT scan had returned shortly before her second seizure. The CT scan was clear, meaning that she very likely didn’t have something seriously wrong like a brain tumor, aneurysm or blood clot.

Throughout the rest of the day, test after test came back showing nothing wrong. Her prognosis was so good that just 10 hours after arriving in the hospital, we left.

I am so grateful that nothing was seriously wrong with Jenny. I’m also glad that one of the things I carry around with me more strongly now than before is the comfort that God seeks His glory in everything. This doesn’t mean that difficulties won’t come along and that fear, pain and doubt won’t be a part of my life.  However, I hope that when those times inevitably arrive, God will again be faithful and remind me that He seeks His glory and His glory is good.

Happy Anniversary Jenny.  I love you.

Guest post over! Here are a few picture from our anniversary date!

We were lucky enough to find a sitter to watch the boys for us so we could go out to celebrate our anniversary. For dinner, we chose a little restaurant called Il Folleto. It was a quant little Italian restaurant over near the patershol area. We ordered a version of bruschetta with italian ham on top for an appetizer. For our meal, Cole enjoyed some steak with a creamy balsamic sauce, and I had pasta with pecorino cheese and a spicy sauce (I'm not totally sure what the sauce was as it was just called "spicy sauce" on the menu). Everything was delicious...from the bread, to the food, to the drinks, it was great! It was also a nice, quiet atmosphere. I'm sure we'll be back! As a side note, every single table was reserved that evening (a Wednesday evening) for the whole night. Luckily we had also made reservations!

                                               

After dinner, we stopped to grab some gelato and sat by the canal that runs by our loft. It was so nice outside and such a treat to just sit and talk...to enjoy each other and not have to worry about anything else. To talk about where we've been, how far we've come, and where we want to go. 

It was a wonderful way to celebrate! As I mentioned in my previous anniversary post, we look forward to many more years to come!

8 Years

Today, June 25th, marks eight years since Cole and I got married! I remember our wedding day well...it was a VERY hot day. The wedding was in a church with no air conditioning and the reception in a tent   in Cole's backyard.

Despite the weather, it was a wonderful day to celebrate with our friends and family and join together as husband and wife after five years of dating. What a day!

As a side note, our journey started long before that day. Cole and I began dating all the way back in high school when I was a junior and Cole was a senior. High school sweethearts! :)  We have been a pair for a long time! 

Shortly after we started dating (2001)

                                            
                                             We felt so much love and support on that day! 

Since then, we have moved many times, including two overseas moves, worked in several different jobs, we've had people come and go in our lives, purchased and sold a house, added two amazing children to our family, and much more in between. Life has drastically changed since the day we were married. Although many things around us have changed, there are still some things that have remained the same.

First of all, Christ is still constant! Even when we forget or ignore His call to love each other in a Christ-like way or are slow to forgive, God is still there. I am thankful that our understanding of Christ in our marriage has grown and that we are continually learning to trust God and follow His will for our family and relationship. We fail often, but He gives us grace to move forward and forgive each other. What a gift! 

Venice

Second, from the very beginning of our relationship, Cole has been my best friend. We were friends before we started dating and, for me, he has remained my very best friend since then. He knows things about me that no one else knows and he still loves me. We have enjoyed so many adventures together, come through challenges, and grown together. He loves me, even in my worst moments. There are so many things in life that have been richer because I have been able to share them with him. Do we have struggles, yes. Have we been through challenging and difficult times, of course! But the fact remains that there is no one else who I would want to walk through this life with other than Cole. My love for him has grown and changed from a giddy, butterflies in your stomach feeling when we first started dating, to a strong commitment and a desire to experience life with him for as long as we are on this earth. Marriage is not always butterflies and roses...there are times when it's hard, or when we disagree and struggle through things, but we have a God who walks through all of that with us. So I am thankful for the eight years that we have been given and look forward to many more to come!