One Year

Today marks one year since we left our home with a for sale sign in the front yard, boarded a plane, and moved our family and entire life to Belgium. In some ways, this year has flown by. As I look back over the past year and think about how my life has changed and how I have changed, I am amazed. This year has been one of the most challenging years of my life, but I have grown in ways I didn't even realize I needed to grow. I am very thankful for this year…even though there have been tough times…I am thankful for the opportunity to experience life like never before and to grow into a different, and I think better, person.

One of the biggest things I've had to learn this year is to let go. Those who know me well know that I like to be in complete control at all times. I don't like not knowing what's going on, or not having all the information, or not having a plan. I do not like walking into complete unknown or situations where I might be out of my comfort zone. I've always been this way. But this year has not allowed me to be that way anymore. Of course there have been times over this past year where I have been drawn back into that mindset, but all that caused was frustration and fear. Going into this, there was no way to know what life was going to be like or how I would feel in certain situations. Of course I spent hours and hours researching Belgium; churches, schools, houses, the city of Gent, the Dutch language, food, activities, expat groups, mom groups, etc. I tried to completely prepare myself for what was to come. Little did I know that there was no way to do that. Yes, I was informed about things here, but I don't think there's any way to fully prepare yourself for moving to another country. When we arrived, I immediately tried to get our situation figured out and set. That was impossible because there were too many things that we needed to figure out. There have been many times where I have felt completely helpless and wanted to just quarantine myself in our loft, but that's not helpful either, so I have had to find another way to move forward. Learning to let go has been hard for me, but very beneficial, not just in my life personally, but also for our family. Life is better for all of us when I don't hold on so tightly, when I trust that God is taking care of us and has a better plan than I do. I'm not all the way there, but I think I can say that I have come a long way in letting go over the past year.

Another way I have grown is that I'm learning to appreciate and enjoy being with people who think, act, or look differently than I do. Prior to coming here, I lived a very comfortable life among people who were very much like me…and that's ok. But my world has expanded tremendously since being here. I have written about diversity before and I am so thankful so the opportunity for us to experience different cultures, traditions, and people. We have met so many wonderful people from all over the world since we've been here. Just the other night, a church group meet at our house for a bible study. Aside from the leader and two other people who were from Belgium, no one else was from the same country. There was someone from Hong Kong, Iran, El Salvador, Suriname, Brazil, America, and Ukraine. I have learned that people think and do things very differently, but that that is ok. I can still love and appreciate those who are different than me. I can still interact with and enjoy people from other cultures. And I certainly feel like I have a more accurate picture of what heaven will be like since getting to know Christians from all over the world. I am a much better person for coming to this realization and am thankful for being put in a situation where I can see that the world is bigger than "my world."

One of the best things that has come from this year has been our increased dependence on and trust in God. We have experienced intense loneliness, felt completely lost, been tested in our marriage, bumped heads about decisions, and struggled in many other ways. Through all of that, we have learned to turn to God for strength, direction, answers, and peace. I truly believe that we have a happier marriage and family because we are learning to look to Him first when we are struggling personally or as a family.

I could go on and on about lessons I have learned so far on this journey. This has certainly been an up and down year for me. We have been overwhelmingly blessed by opportunities to travel, meet wonderful people, and grow. We have each celebrated a birthday here and now Harrison has lived in Belgium longer than he lived in the U.S. I don't think I would have chosen this path if I was in control, but I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the growth and for how I will be forever changed because of this. As I think back to this day last year and all the uncertainty, I can't believe that me, of all the control freak people in the world, has survived so far. One of the main reasons that I wanted to keep a blog was to see how we would grow and change during this time and how God has provided for us over and over again. Reading over some of my old posts has done just that…I have been reminded of how blessed we are and how much God has lead us. Today I am thanking God for giving us this opportunity to grow as individuals, as a couple, and as a family, and for teaching us to trust Him.

Just for good measure, here are a few pictures to compare this time last year with this time this year.

2013

2014

International Festival

Last Friday night, we participated in an International Festival at Cameron's school. Each family that participated was asked to decorate a table to show off their country and culture as well as wear traditional attire from their country. The focus of the tables was food from our respective countries. There was also a presentation of all the countries represented at the school and a flag parade by the children.

The evening started with the flag parade by the children. Cameron was waving his flag like crazy! 

Cameron and his friend, Sebastian (Belgium/Germany) 

Once all the kids walked in with their flags, they were asked to state their name and where they were from. When the microphone got to Cameron, even though he was wearing his U.S.A shirt and waving his U.S.A flag he said, "My name is Cameron and I am from Belgium." I guess he is starting to feel at home here!

After the flag parade, the headmaster of the school gave an update on the school, followed by a presentation showcasing each country. 

Then it was time to mingle and enjoy the food and fellowship. Here are some pictures of the evening and the different tables showcasing the countries represented at the school. 

Belgium

Germany

Spain

Iran

Turkey

India

Of course Harrison LOVED all the food!
He is eating some German meatballs.

My friend, Ana, from Columbia

Veerle, from Belgium

Manning our table

Jasmin, from Iran

Cameron and his buddy Ansh

Towards the end of the festival, one of the moms from the school taught us some Indian dances. Of course the kids loved dancing, but by the end, many of the parents were dancing as well!

The goal of the festival was to help everyone get familiar with and appreciate the diversity of the school. The event was so fun and the food was delicious. I have written about diversity before and this was another great example of how we're being exposed to many different cultures. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know and appreciate people from many different countries! 

Diversity

Cole and I recently decided that we were going to take on a 31 day prayer challenge for our children. I found a calendar on Pinterest to guide us through the 31 days of prayer and we are working through it. So today, the theme for prayer was "diversity." I studied and prayed over Galatians 3:28 to go along with this theme.

²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

As I read and prayed over the scripture for the boys, I was struck by the significance that I felt while reading and praying. I can honestly say that I have never prayed for diversity for the boys. I pray that they will know Jesus, that they will be protected, that they will be feel loved, accepted and safe. I pray for their future spouses, big decisions they will make, and careers..but diversity? Never! Then, the reality of our current situation sunk in. We are in nothing if not a diverse situation right now. Everywhere we look there are people who look, sound, and talk different than we do. Of course this is true throughout the city, but it is particularly true for us at church. There are people from all over the world who attend ICCG. People come from all different cultures, speak many different languages, have different accents and colors. Thinking and praying through this this morning really moved me.

Diversity is not something that I am really too familiar with. I grew up in a small town where most people and families seemed the same (at least from the outside looking in). For the most part, we all went to similar churches, thought in similar ways about things, and went to the same high school. A lot of people stay in or around the town where I grew up. FYI...I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't do much for finding diversity either. The same is true for my college experience. I went to a small christian university where, again, it was not really that diverse. Of course there was more diversity than where I grew up, but there wasn't much that was earth shattering, and it was very easy to find people similar to me. After Cole and I got married, we moved to England for a short expat assignment. That assignment was VERY hard for me! People and things were very different than what I was used to. Instead of trying to embrace our situation, I became very closed off. I didn't do much to try to get involved in our community. We found a little church that we attended while we were there, but we didn't really get to know people or try to engage. When we left to go back home, we didn't feel like we were leaving anyone or anything because we hadn't given ourselves really at all. I'm ashamed to say that I can't even remember the name of the church or any of the people we met while we were there. When we returned back to the U.S. and moved south, we immediately began looking for people who were similar to us in thinking and lifestyle. It was easy to find that and we eventually found ourselves very comfortable in the midst of a great church and small group.

In my opinion, that in and of itself is not necessarily bad, but it's very easy. It's easy to gravitate towards people who are similar to you. Who live like you and think like you. Who look like you and talk like you. It's very easy to do that. In fact, we have even found ourselves drawn to other Americans that we have found here. It's easy! The danger in that is that it's also very easy to look down on or brush off those who are different than you. I am amazed at how God has changed my view of this in the short time we have been in Gent. We have been so incredibly blessed by people who are very different from us. We have been loved and embraced by the people at International Community Church Gent (ICCG) and are constantly in awe of how God has been working through this adventure here.

If I'm being honest, it was hard for me to want to attend ICCG when we first arrived. It's different than what I'm used to and different can make me uncomfortable. But despite our differences...our cultures, our languages, our heritage, how we grew up, how we're used to worshipping, etc., we are all connected eternally through Jesus Christ. And we worship together. Despite our differences, we find a way to put aside our selfish desires of what we're used to or want to come together and worship the One who is greater than all of that. The diversity that we have found here has opened my eyes to so much of the selfishness in my own heart and mind when thinking about church and what our purpose is in the church. It's helped me work through my issues about attending a church that is so different than what I'm used to. It's helped me be able to worship alongside a fellow believer, even if we don't agree on every issue that we (as people) choose to argue about...politics, music, marriage, traditional church, relevant church, etc. When we make church about anything more than the gospel, we are spoiling it and making our desires more important than the gospel.

I am so thankful that God has placed this on my heart and is working to change how I feel about embracing and worshipping with people who are different than me. I'm also thankful that the boys have a chance to witness, first hand, how people can love each other and worship together, despite differences that might arise. You can bet that I am going to add diversity to my prayer list for the boys. I can see how important it is to be able to see past our differences and look to the fact that we are a body of believers connected through Jesus Christ. I hope that, with God's grace, Cole and I can be a good example of this for the boys. They need to be able to see what's truly important. Thankfully, we will have lots of opportunities to practice this as a family with church, school, and everyday life!