Today marks one year since we left our home with a for sale sign in the front yard, boarded a plane, and moved our family and entire life to Belgium. In some ways, this year has flown by. As I look back over the past year and think about how my life has changed and how I have changed, I am amazed. This year has been one of the most challenging years of my life, but I have grown in ways I didn't even realize I needed to grow. I am very thankful for this year…even though there have been tough times…I am thankful for the opportunity to experience life like never before and to grow into a different, and I think better, person.
One of the biggest things I've had to learn this year is to let go. Those who know me well know that I like to be in complete control at all times. I don't like not knowing what's going on, or not having all the information, or not having a plan. I do not like walking into complete unknown or situations where I might be out of my comfort zone. I've always been this way. But this year has not allowed me to be that way anymore. Of course there have been times over this past year where I have been drawn back into that mindset, but all that caused was frustration and fear. Going into this, there was no way to know what life was going to be like or how I would feel in certain situations. Of course I spent hours and hours researching Belgium; churches, schools, houses, the city of Gent, the Dutch language, food, activities, expat groups, mom groups, etc. I tried to completely prepare myself for what was to come. Little did I know that there was no way to do that. Yes, I was informed about things here, but I don't think there's any way to fully prepare yourself for moving to another country. When we arrived, I immediately tried to get our situation figured out and set. That was impossible because there were too many things that we needed to figure out. There have been many times where I have felt completely helpless and wanted to just quarantine myself in our loft, but that's not helpful either, so I have had to find another way to move forward. Learning to let go has been hard for me, but very beneficial, not just in my life personally, but also for our family. Life is better for all of us when I don't hold on so tightly, when I trust that God is taking care of us and has a better plan than I do. I'm not all the way there, but I think I can say that I have come a long way in letting go over the past year.
Another way I have grown is that I'm learning to appreciate and enjoy being with people who think, act, or look differently than I do. Prior to coming here, I lived a very comfortable life among people who were very much like me…and that's ok. But my world has expanded tremendously since being here. I have written about
diversity before and I am so thankful so the opportunity for us to experience different cultures, traditions, and people. We have met so many wonderful people from all over the world since we've been here. Just the other night, a church group meet at our house for a bible study. Aside from the leader and two other people who were from Belgium, no one else was from the same country. There was someone from Hong Kong, Iran, El Salvador, Suriname, Brazil, America, and Ukraine. I have learned that people think and do things very differently, but that that is ok. I can still love and appreciate those who are different than me. I can still interact with and enjoy people from other cultures. And I certainly feel like I have a more accurate picture of what heaven will be like since getting to know Christians from all over the world. I am a much better person for coming to this realization and am thankful for being put in a situation where I can see that the world is bigger than "my world."
One of the best things that has come from this year has been our increased dependence on and trust in God. We have experienced intense
loneliness,
felt completely lost, been tested in our marriage, bumped heads about decisions, and struggled in many other ways. Through all of that, we have learned to turn to God for strength, direction, answers, and peace. I truly believe that we have a happier marriage and family because we are learning to look to Him first when we are struggling personally or as a family.
I could go on and on about lessons I have learned so far on this journey. This has certainly been an up and down year for me. We have been overwhelmingly blessed by opportunities to travel, meet wonderful people, and grow. We have each celebrated a birthday here and now Harrison has lived in Belgium longer than he lived in the U.S. I don't think I would have chosen this path if I was in control, but I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the growth and for how I will be forever changed because of this. As I think back to
this day last year and all the
uncertainty, I can't believe that me, of all the control freak people in the world, has survived so far. One of the main reasons that I wanted to keep a blog was to see how we would grow and change during this time and how God has provided for us over and over again. Reading over some of my old posts has done just that…I have been reminded of how blessed we are and how much God has lead us. Today I am thanking God for giving us this opportunity to grow as individuals, as a couple, and as a family, and for teaching us to trust Him.
Just for good measure, here are a few pictures to compare this time last year with this time this year.
2013
2014