Sending Cameron to School

When we first came to Belgium for our house hunting trip back in December, part of our time here was spent talking about and visiting schools. I was very surprised to see that on our agenda because, at the time, Cameron was only two. Back home, I don't think we would have ever considered sending him to school until kindergarden, maaayyybbeee preschool. Here, since most moms return back to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave, it's very common for children to be in a daycare (or creche as it's called here) from that time on. Once they turn three, it seems that most children start going to school (2.5-3 is the age when children can officially start school). I was told they switch to school at that time because it's cheaper than daycare? I don't really know if that's true, but it makes sense. Anyways, this is not common, at least in my small world back in the United States, so it was all a little weird to me. Despite my indifference/resistance, we visited a nice school while we were here in December. I didn't really think too much about it because I wasn't considering putting Cameron in school at the age of three. In fact, I was quite certain that we would NOT be doing this!

A couple months ago, I was forced to think about the issue again. As part of our relocation package, we were given the option to send Cameron and Harrison to school here once they turned three. Therefore, we had to make a decision so that all the paperwork could be completed, payments made, etc. This was a toughie for me!! As I said before, I don't think we ever would have considered putting Cameron in school until he had to go if we were back home. I love being with the boys all day. I love being a part of their learning and development. I love to teach them and play with them. I love to see their imagination and thought process change and develop. They are only little for such a short time and I don't want to miss out on those things. Once they go to school, my time with them will be decreased. Our lives will have to be more scheduled and disciplined and we can't be as spontaneous with fun day trips or vacations. Life will be different (as if it's not different enough already)! I also struggle with guilt and feeling like I'm just pawning him off on someone else...This is definitely my issue (and a whole other post!) because there is nothing wrong with sending a child to school early! So, while working through this decision, I came to a couple conclusions. First (I'll discuss my second conclusion in a minute), I realized that my reasons for not wanting to send Cameron to school were not so much based on what would be best for him, but more centered around me and what I wanted or was feeling.

So I started to pray and think about it, not thinking about my needs, but about what's best for Cameron. Here are some of the pros and cons that got us to our decision:

Pros:
*Education here is excellent and we are blessed to be able to send Cameron to a nice International School
*Cameron can go to an English speaking school with other expat children
*Cameron LOVES other kids and playing with others. He can meet some friends and continue to develop his wonderful, outgoing personality. He will also meet children from many different cultures.
*Cameron LOVES to learn.
*There are lots of extracurricular activities that Cameron can be involved with including language lessons, swimming lessons, music and sports.
*It's a great way for us to meet other families in the area who are in similar situations as expat families
*We feel like having some structure during the day might help Cameron learn to focus a little more
*I'll have a few hours every day to spend some quality time with sweet, quiet Harrison

Cons:
*I will not get to spend all day with Cameron
*Our lives will have to be more structured
*Cameron is so young

As you can see, there aren't very many cons in this list. After talking about for several months, Cole and I eventually decided to start sending Cameron to school this fall, but just part time (9:00-11:00 everyday). We just received his acceptance letter from the school yesterday and it became VERY real for me! Yikes!!

So my second conclusion is this...I have come to learn while working through this decision is that there is not a once size fits all answer for everyone or even every child within one family when it comes to making a decision about school. Many people send their children to school early, or homeschool, or choose a private school, or whatever, and that's ok. I have never wanted to send my children early, but things don't always work out the way we planned. I have heard many people talk about making school decisions and having their kids here, there, and everywhere...in the past, this has all seemed a little crazy to me. However, now that I am faced with these decisions, I am seeing that, even within my own family, my thought process about school is completely different when thinking about sending Cameron vs sending Harrison. Even though Harrison is quite a bit younger, I'm not so sure he would be ready to go to school at three. Of course we'll have to re-evaluate when he gets to that point, but at this moment, his personality does not lend itself to school so early like Cameron's does. When we really thought through it, we realized that Cameron would excel and love this opportunity regardless of how hard it will be for us. When it comes down to it, Cameron is ready. He is independent, confident, and outgoing. I know he will do great.

I know I can't hold on so tightly forever. As I think back, I have actually spent a good amount of time letting go of Cameron in little ways in the three short years he has been alive...as he learned to crawl, then walk, feed himself, put his shoes on, go to the bathroom, brush his teeth, etc. I have had to let go of little pieces of him with each development and with his growing independence. Although I would never want to hold him back or discourage growth, it's still hard for this mommy to see her baby grow up. I know that school is just one of the many changes that will take more little pieces of him away from me, but I m excited to see how God will use him through all of this. While it's hard to go through, I am so happy to see him growing into such a smart, loving, outgoing little boy. I get a little teary-eyed even writing this, but Cameron has told me many times not to be so sad when he grows up! :) I'm determined to embrace this change and help him continue to grow and succeed, with lots of prayers to help me through of course! We are thankful for the direction and peace God has given us about this decision and we know He will help us through it...even if it's tough for this momma!