A couple nights ago, Cole and I had a slight freak out about
baby #3 coming. If you know me, you know that freak outs are not at all abnormal for my crazy self. However, if you know Cole, you know that he is calm, cool, and collected 99% of the time, so you can be assured that this was relatively legitimate. As a side note, this cool and calm demeanor is one of the many reasons why Cole is sooooo good for me! Anyways, so we had a little bit of a freak out. Why? I'm not exactly sure. It's not like this is our first child. Of course with every addition, there are things to think about and prepare for, but I feel like I am doing this for the first time. So is it because I sold or gave away pretty much all my baby things? Or because we're about to be outnumbered? Or because my doctor visits are so different from my visits with our other two children? Or because we are doing all of this in Belgium? I honestly think it's a little bit of all of these things.
First, thinking about buying all the baby things we need again is a bit overwhelming, especially because most baby items and clothes are significantly more expensive to buy in Europe than in the U.S. Also, our situation and needs are so much different now than when we had Cameron and Harrison because life is so different. I feel stressed when I try to figure out the best way to make life easier here on a daily basis. How many strollers do I need? What's the best stroller for city life? Should I get a stroller that can hold all three kids if necessary? What's the best way for me to get from the loft (on the 5th floor) down to the car in the morning with all three kids in tow? Should we get a larger bike trailer? Can we even fit a bigger car in our garage, etc?! Thankfully, as this is our third child, I have a much better grip on reality as far as what is needed for a baby and know that it is actually not very much! The plan at the moment it to bring empty suitcases when we go home in July and fill them up with what we think we will need. Hopefully, just being able to purchase some baby things without spending a fortune will make me feel better. It might make for a crazy trip through customs and some funny looks from the locals on our way home with all the extra suitcases, new stroller, and carseat, but I think it will be worth it.
Second, being outnumbered. I think this is pretty self explanatory. I don't think I would have given this very much thought except for the fact that, most everyone we talk to with three or more children talk about how this was their most difficult transition…there are now more children than adults and not enough hands to corral all the children. While I have no doubt that this will present challenges, our other children are also growing and becoming much more independent, so I think that will help with this transition. This is what I'm going with for now anyway!
Third, I have already mentioned that going to the doctor here is an adventure in and of itself. But add to that, the visits are nothing like my visits with our other two. They don't check or do the same things as I'm used to. Therefore, I'm, very irrationally, afraid that they're missing things or not being careful or thorough enough. I have to constantly remind myself that people have babies here every day and things are fine.
Last, this is all happening in Belgium! Once again, people have babies here every day, so why am I so nervous about this? I really don't know, but I'm pretty sure this is one reason why I am feeling so unprepared. For some reason, being here makes me feel like I am doing this for the first time. When the doctor asks if I have any questions for her, my mind goes completely blank and I have no idea what to say…I feel like a deer in the headlights. Sometimes this makes me feel like, since this is my third child, I'm a pro at this and don't have any questions, but I know better then that. I feel so overwhelmed by all the things I need to figure out that I end up not asking anything…Where do I go when I'm in labor? What is the procedure during labor and delivery? Can I get an epidural if I want one? And one of the biggest unknowns, what does care look like for the baby after delivery (does the baby stay in the room, what tests do they perform after birth, vaccinations, procedures, etc.). Thankfully, I have some good friends here who have done this before me, including one American friend who will be delivering soon, to help me talk through this. I am so thankful for all of them!!
Despite all of these unknowns, we are all very excited to meet this new little one. Even though I'm sure there will be more uncertainty and fear in the months to come, we trust the One who gave us this precious gift, are thankful for a heathy pregnancy so far, and look forward to finding out the gender in a couple weeks!
Just for good measure, here's the baby bump at 16 weeks!
