You can check out my last post about the differences between here and the U.S. to see my initial thoughts about living in Belgium. However, as we continue to adapt to living overseas, we continue to find things that are simply just different than what we're used to. I feel like I should, again, point out that these things are not necessarily bad, but just different. So here are some new observations...
Speedos...everywhere...enough said!
Touching/Personal space: It has been pointed out to me on several occasions since I've been here that Americans like their personal space. Although I certainly don't represent all Americans, I can't really argue with that statement. I like to have my space and start to feel uncomfortable when people pass the personal space bubble that I've set for myself. Of course everyone defines personal space differently, but you get the point, I don't like people super close to me...especially when I am talking to someone. I remember the first time I was totally freaked out by this after we arrived in Belgium. We were getting ready to leave church one Sunday evening a few weeks after we arrived and one of our new (male) friends here leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye. That is a totally normal way for friends and acquaintances to said hello or goodbye to one another, but I was completely thrown off by it. I'm sure he thought I was crazy because my first response when he started coming so close was to throw my hands up and jump back! I tried to casually recover and act calm, but I'm pretty sure I acted like a complete weirdo. He has since greeted me that way and I still jump back and go into defense mode! I hope to get better at this.
Maybe I should preface this next part by saying that, in America, we are constantly inundated with stories about children being abducted, hurt, abused, etc. and how much we need to protect them, so I am probably a little more sensitive to this than some. The other way that I have really seen this personal space/touch manifested is with the boys. I have never been so uncomfortable with the amount of touching, talking to, and interacting with the boys by complete strangers as I have been here. Here are just two of many examples of situations where mama bear wanted to jump out and attack strangers who were, in my opinion, being inappropriate with the boys. The first example happened when we were at the registration office here in Gent trying to get our residency cards. We all had to be there to get the process started, so we were waiting in the line with boys, minding our own business, when a man walked past us and rubbed his hand along Cameron's head and cheek before moving on. Cole and I looked at each other, completely shocked, and both asked if that man had just touched our child?! He's lucky it happened so fast and then moved on because we were both ready to jump in and protect our child!! The other incident happened when we were in Paris. We were sitting at a restaurant eating lunch when the hostess of the restaurant came up to the table and tried to get Harrison out of the stroller to hold him?! She didn't speak English and I don't speak French, so I, as calmly as I could, pulled Harrison back down and held him in his seat in the stroller. I guess she got the hint because she left, but I was, once again, shocked. There are many more stories like those, but I am constantly amazed and the amount of freedom people have with the boys. From holding them to touching them to giving them food or drinks...especially without asking us if we're ok with what's going on. It's very different than what I'm used to.
Church: I haven't decided whether or not to wade into the current discussions and debates about church that have been floating around in America, but God has definitely been working in my heart in this area since we have been here. One of the biggest things that has stood out to me since being here is that church is not a commodity. There is not a church on every street corner. There are not Christians everywhere you look. It's very different. I am so thankful for the church community that God has provided for us while we're here, but also for the ways in which God has worked in my heart to change the way I think about church and the purpose of the church. Maybe I'll share more specific thoughts about this at another time...
Air Conditioning: There is none! At least not in the homes in Gent. There are some stores and businesses that have air conditioning, but in the home, it's pretty much non-existent. For the most part, air conditioning is not really necessary because the weather during the summer is pretty mild except for a few days here and there. I realize this is a pretty inane issue and that we are very blessed to have access to air conditioning like we do in the U.S., but it's still a difference. I am used to being very comfortable in the home. I'm not used to sweating like crazy while cooking dinner or trying to sleep. Cole even slept outside in the rain one night because it was so hot and humid in our loft! There really have only been a few days where we were pretty miserable. The sunshine and warmth is such a welcomed sight here because it's usually gray and rainy, so I hate to complain. But again, it's just different!
Vacation: In America, vacation is something that we hold onto very tightly and use sparingly. A week of vacation in the U.S. is sometimes seen by some as excessive, and it's really uncommon to take more than one week off at a time. I knew coming here that the work ethic was different, but I was shocked to learn that a lot of companies, stores, and businesses, including the one Cole works for, actually close their doors completely for three weeks or so in July or August for people to go on vacation. In fact, Cole was told by someone in HR that he really needed to try to take off at least two weeks in a row! He didn't do it...maybe the American way of thinking about work was too ingrained in his mind to allow him to give in and take the time?! I think it would be nice to take a vacation like that, but it would also be a little weird, even for me...and I LOVE vacation! Cole did take a week off and we really enjoyed our time with him here!
Customer Service: In America, we are used to "customer satisfaction guaranteed" in pretty much every aspect of our lives. We can buy, exchange, return, and pretty much demand that something be as perfect as we desire, order, etc. It's nice to know that you will almost always get what you are looking for or need, but it can also create a sense of entitlement if you're not careful. Here, customer satisfaction is not guaranteed. You cannot return something that you have purchased and get a refund. You can take it back and perhaps get a credit at the store to get something else, but there is no such thing as getting a refund. And there is no such thing as a 90 day grace period before you can return or exchange. Here, it's 14 days at the most. You might have read about our little incident with the cake for Cameron's birthday party. We definitely were not satisfied with the cake we received compared to the cake we ordered, especially because it was an expensive cake. When I inquired about getting a refund, I was offered a much smaller cake to make up for the inconvenience that was caused. I didn't need or want another cake because one, that did not even come close to covering the expense of the other cake, and two, I didn't need a cake since the party was already over. When I discussed this with them, I was told that they didn't make the cakes in house and therefore, were not responsible for the issues. After a little more communication, I was finally offered a 10% discount off my next cake order from their bakery. I'm not going to pursue this issue any further, but this is definitely a difference that I have had to get used to. I try really hard not to be pushy and appear entitled...Americans already have a reputation for that, so I am trying to learn to just go with it and accept that this is something that is going to be different here.
Even though there continue to be things that are different in Belgium, I can still honestly say that we are enjoying our time here. God is faithful in teaching us and helping us through difficult and new things...and we are even able to laugh at a lot of our crazy experiences! We are working on embracing as many of the changes as we can and not wish for things to change...ok, maybe not the speedos! We don't want to miss out on our time here because we were wishing for things to be like they are in the U.S. I'm sure there will be a part 3 to this series at some point, but until then, we will work to enjoy the blessings we have received!
No comments:
Post a Comment